Do You Get Asked Why You Had A 'bad' Day? What Do You Say?

[Bosco2153]

I have had two really bad days this week. My husband sees these as 'out of the blue' and asks me what triggered them. I say I don't know, and I don't. Or I say with sarcasm...'ummm PTSD and MDD?'. How do I get him to understand?

 

[rh1989]

That is a tough one. I, too, suffer from PTSD and communication is not my strongest. I can't give you an answer because I am in the same boat as you are, but if anything break it down for him and explain as best you can and when you are both in a good place of listening and understanding. I am having some relationship troubles as well and communication and trust are what is blocking me from moving forward. You are not alone! Hope that helps.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I'd be sarcastic. But then again, I can't keep relationships to save my soul. So in other words, DON'T be sarcastic! Lol

 

[BewitchedBewildered]

As a supporter, I want to understand what triggers my guy better, but sometimes, from what he used to tell me, its normal stress. Something that won't get to him one day, will the next.

Unfortunately, most of us supporters want to let our sufferer talk about it and PTSD 101 is that when you are experiencing it, you don't want to talk about it. At least in my experience. If my guy wants to talk about what is pissing him off or stressing him out that usually means its not that big of an issue to him.

Maybe a talk when you are not triggered. When you are both calm. I understand that simply saying it was a bad day, means just that. He had a bad PTSD day. My idea of a bad day times 10000.

Most supporters just want to help, even though we can't. And most men actually want to fix it. He needs to understand he can't and sometimes there is no black or white issue. At least that's my opinion, from my position.

I wish you the best.

 

[Bosco2153]

My sweet husband calls me everyday from work, midday, to see how I'm doing. We've been together almost 30 years and he knows when I'm 'down', even if I try not to let it 'show' over the phone. Very often, I don't have a clue why I'm in the state I'm in THAT day. He comes home and ponders 'what it could be' that got me that day. It's hard for him to believe there is nothing significant. He will worry that I'm not telling him something, and it's all out of love and caring but it's so exasperating! LOL. More often than not, there isn't a thing to tell him about that day other than it was difficult! We've talked about it but it keeps happening like a revolving door. I suppose that over time, he will adapt to my unexplained retreating into my past...or whatever it is that grabs me for a day.

 

[KP the nut]

I want to understand what triggers my guy better, but sometimes, from what he used to tell me, its normal stress. Something that won't get to him one day, will the next.

Have you seen the [DLMURL="https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/the-ptsd-cup-explanation.13737/"]PTSD Cup Explaination[/DLMURL]. It is a big help towards understanding.

 

[BewitchedBewildered]

Thank you, that's kind of how I think of it in my head.

 

[rightkindofme]

I tell people "Everything and nothing. It's just that kind of day."