Do You Hide Your Diagnosis From Friends And Family?

[Egudu]

Can't say it went well that should say.

 

[Lotaw]

I'm on the fence with this one.

For one thing; No. I have never told my family I have PTSD. Nor any of my trauma history. Nor -at this point in my life- do I really intend to. I can't see it doing any good, but I can see it doing much harm.

Yes. I have told various friends, acquaintances, coworkers, lovers, etc. either that I have PTSD or pieces of my trauma history, for various reasons. Usually that it was germain to the discussion at hand -or life in general- in some way ... NOT in a "There's something you should know" kind of way. I don't do the "coming out" sort of thing in general. My sexual orientation is only relevant to you if I'm sleeping with you, and at that point you know what you need to. Which is that I personally find you delicious. My personal viewpoint, in general, is very need to know. It drives a few of my close friends a little crazy? "How did I not know this about you???" Ummmmm... You weren't there / it's never really been relevant before? It is now. So you know now? IDK. I don't talk about the past, much.

 

[Ojub]

No.

I never had the option of hiding it. My symptoms are very visible.

 

[Uzap]

OP here,

I never had the option of hiding it. My symptoms are very visible.

I am sorry to hear that. My T tells me that I am actually "high functioning" which makes me laugh considering the only things I have in my life are my children and my career. I married an abusive man looking for a white knight to save me from my past and I couldn't even tell him about my past even though I tried because he told me that he didn't care about my past. My family including brothers and sisters were abusive to me physically, mentally and emotionally. As an adult I have done a lot to distance myself from my family, we speak only as necessary. I guess for me this question has significance right now because I have scheduled a 4 day holiday weekend at my parents house with all my siblings Christmas weekend. The holidays are horrifically difficult for me as it was a time that my family openly showed their dislike, distaste and hatred by the way they treated me and shuned me but worse the holidays represent a significant physical/sexual trauma followed the same night by what should have been a life ending car accident.

I guess the entire reasoning for this post is that I have not spent any time with my extended family (children not included) in any level of sobriety in the last 10 years. I haven't been to a family holiday gathering in 2 years since my mother died which only formed to seal the place I have in that family by having been displaced from my long term bedroom by nieces and nephews, my mother's brother and mother and offered blankets laid on the cement floor of a storage room, not a couch, not a twin bed and ask my parents grand kids to sleep in less than optimal location. The thing for me is that for the first time since I was 12 (35 years ago) I am mostly substance free.but I relapse any time I have to deal with my family in person. My T believes that if I had at least one ally within in my family someone that could help when I need a break to assist me with getting away from the stressors.

My symptoms are visible, I just tend to hide them locked behind the use of medications and alcohol in my best effort to pretend to be normal.

 

[Uzose]

I never had the option of hiding it. My symptoms are very visible.

I moved several thousand miles away from family. A few times.
(Isolating from people I cared about)

When I was completely out of control? About half a day to 4 days walk away from people, full stop. There were a few times I was somewhere easy to drive to / not far off the highway. So if you knew where I was, you could drive a couple hours, park, and walk 50 feet. But most of the time, when I was doing this, I was back of beyond.
(Total Isolation)

In between those 2, I still existed in the world, but formed no relationships or patterns. Still around people, but no one I interacted with on a daily or regular basis. Slept in different places, ate in different places, shopped in different places. Occasionally I'd stay awhile, start forming super basic connections to the world & people around me...and then it would get too much and I'd up and leave. Just walk away from apartments and flats, jobs if I had one with no notice, etc. Change cities. Change countries. I just needed to leave. Now. This was the more transitional piece between just isolating from people I cared about and isolating from everyone. Either coming (getting better) or going (getting worse).

 

[Patulu]

My T tells me that I am actually "high functioning"

My therapist says the same thing, which also makes me laugh. I am not matried, don't have kids, and don't have a carrer but I do work and I suppose, given my trauma, working and functioning like that in society and my innate abilty to high everything and act as I am not traumatized at all is "high functioning".

 

[Kuti]

high everything

Hide everything*

 

[Hibinas]

Yep I hide everything! My husband knows I see a therapist and jokenly says I'm going for sex. My mom is one of my abuses and now in a nursing home-my sisters are close to my mom too. My kids I haven't said anything to-it's not fair to them. I mean I still believe I'm crazy and had a messed up childhood-I rather not tell anyone how I feel or what happened. Ultimately no support system and that's safe for me.

 

[Akoc]

OP back, my kids know I see a T but primarily because I work in a position that requires me to keep many secrets. I won't say what I do but it is the equivalent of being CEO for a multi-million dollar corporation but in the non-profit sector. I make decision about hiring and termination, employee benefits and negotiate employment contracts. Additionally, I am responsible for coordinating and finalizing major deals that I am required to sign non-disclosure agreements on so in addition to my personal secrets I am required to keep many many other secrets for my employer.

I won't tell my family of origin because as I said they were my initial abusers not just parents but siblings as well. They often think I am difficult, as an adult and complain that I don't stay in touch more. To a great extent about 10 years ago I cut contact with my family except at holidays. My children know that my family is what we call dysfunctional because they have seen the way that I am treated and by extension the way that they are treated but I find it hard to cut ties completely because I can't get past the idea that family is the most important connection you can have and since I divorced my abusive Ex. my children don't have other family than mine because their dad's family essentially cut them out because I had custody.

I am also trying to figure out if with my PTSD I should put it on the record at work. I have accommodations at work because of a mini-stroke this past summer but those will run out soon and I am thinking that I I need to retain those accommodations because they have helped me to improve significantly in the last 6 months.

 

[Jupun]

The only friends who I talk about it with are A) my friends who are survivors of the same event that caused my PTSD, many of whom have PTSD as well, and B) my best friend who I tell everything to. Otherwise, I don't really discuss it with my friends because I don't want to be a downer and I don't feel like they would "get it" anyway.

As for my parents, I've told them both about it. Thankfully, my trauma had nothing to so with them. I don't talk about it in length, but I did let then know that I was going to counseling and why.

 

[Rubeniv]

OP here,
I am sorry to hear that. My T tells me that I am actually "high functioning" which makes me laugh consideri...

Stop laughing.

You ARE a LOT higher functioning than many. (I am the person you quoted.)

I honestly think it's quite sad that you aren't grateful for what you have and that you take it all for granted.

Maybe instead of focusing on what you do have you should realize that you're pretty damn blessed to have a family and a career.

 

[Bawuwe]

Stop laughing.

You ARE a LOT higher functioning than many. (I am the person you quoted.)

I honestly think it's qui...

I mean stop focusing on what you DONT have.