Do You Know That Something Happened But Can't Remember All Of It?

[blink485]

Hello everybody! I'm 25 years old and studying to receive a doctorate in psychology. I have been working under my masters as a therapist for about a year now. For years I have wondered if I was sexually abused as a child, and interestingly enough, I believe it might be true. Kind of funny, isn't it? I'm a therapist and I still don't know for sure. I have memories that pop up, but I can't put together the whole story to make sense of it all. Granted, I am in my own therapy so I will soon explore what this might be all about.

Anyone else out there have trouble remembering but know that something happened?

 

[Farine]

Well, since you're studying for your own expertise, I'll cut to the chase. Take a look at the ages when people really start remembering. The point of the memory block is to arrive at adulthood. Ta-da! Once you are an adult, then everybody (not just sufferers) has to respond to the inadequacies of their family of origin. Obviously, it's a boon to start earlier than later. I commend you for wanting to know now rather than have it 'pop' at age 50.

There is a rhythm to healing. I believe it's important to respect the pace of healing. When you really delve into trauma, it's a major project. I'm concerned that you are playing with fire as it were. Wouldn't it be better to use the remaining memory blocks to complete your studies THEN investigate?

 

[ams]

I study psychology too, so I know studying psychology brings up a lot of things in our own life (like triggering memories that you want to piece together). This does a few things... firstly, it allows us an "in" with other people. We're able to relate, but we also know how to be objective (some therapists fail at this, but its key). Second, it allows us a chance to look at our own lives and really put words to analyze and understand it. It's great that you're seeing your own therapist, because that's the safest way to explore these new memories. I'm sure you know environmental cues can trigger repressed memories, but if you mess too much, you might end up creating false memories. Which brings me to another point, don't let these new memories impact how you handle your clients. Meaning, don't ask questions that are leading, that will end up having your clients forming false memories.

In sessions, we end up answering our own questions when we're helping someone else, but by asking your client things such as "Do you think you might have been molested as a child?" is a surefire way to freak them out, and they very likely will go home and pick apart their entire brain trying to remember when they were molested as a child, even if they weren't. So I guess, just be cautious when you're counseling a client?

I think you're on the right track, though. Good luck with your doctorate!

 

[kers]

The thing that has helped me come to peace with my past is not pushing to remember it. What comes to me, I deal with; otherwise I focus on the effects in the present. A lot of my healing work initially centered on "was it abuse"--and I have clear, trustworthy memories of physical abuse. I still wonder about sexual abuse, for several reasons, but I have no specific memories of it, just memories of behavior on my part that seems indicative. I have let go of wondering what happened, since it's hard enough to focus on dealing with the effects. I hope that makes sense?

 

[Mina]

I still wonder about sexual abuse, for several reasons, but I have no specific memories of it, just memories of behavior on my part that seems indicative. I have let go of wondering what happened, since it's hard enough to focus on dealing with the effects.

Same here. I've gotten to the point where I can acknowledge that it more than likely happened...but whether it did or didn't is secondary to the fact that my behavior has been affected by something, and like Kers said, I've got to deal with the effects regardless of what that something was.

 

[TLight]

I have to ditto Kers and Mina............Plenty of up front physical abuse........nightmares of violent sexual abuse that I don't know really happened or not, but I have to move forward with the acceptance that something happened to make me this 'way' and, more likely than not, it did. So, now onto dealing with the effects. I'll probably never get the memories. I have a hunch it was just too traumatizing...........now it's coping with the fear, flashbacks, depression, anxiety, etc.