Do You Relate To Stockholm Syndrome Symptoms?

[Seasounds]

I recently was able to drop some denial about a series of memories, and see how they fit a set of symptoms found in people with the Stockholm Syndrome-a fancy name for repeated threats, danger and abuse, with no exits

My parents did hold me captive, threatened my life, repeatedly. Finally, I understand why I still did disassociate (so badly) and had such severe, paranoid-like fear, when moving and thinking out of my own authority. I still am working through the symptoms, building my autonomy, and building self-confidence. I've made amazing progress, thanks to diligence, therapy, Alexander Technique, MyPtsdForum, mindfulness, meds, and healthy friends.

I thought this link may be helpful to others.
Does anything resonate with your experience, in this article?

Stockholm Syndrome:
an emotional attachment to a captor formed by a hostage as a result of continuous stress, dependence, and a need to cooperate for survival.

Link Removed

 

[Kintsugi]

I absolutely identify with what is written in the article, but I think co-opting such a well-known term generally used for victims of abduction/capture/hostage situations and applying it broadly to survivors of child or spousal abuse is a little inappropriate. After all, the situations where family/domestic violence arise are differently composed than non-familial cult/hostage situations.

I think all of these situations have their own depth and complexity, and they are all valid, but I (and probably many others) think of Stockholm Syndrome as reserved for cults and abductees. Even with cults... I think it's different than simply being taken hostage at random by total strangers. And that is coming from someone who has spent countless hours very sympathetically researching cults of all kinds and the effect they have on their victims.

 

[joeylittle]

I think Stockholm Syndrome was initially a very specific phenomenon, but it's now more of a concept than a syndrome.

The concept does make sense when applied to a multiplicity of situations involving someone in the role of captor, and someone in the role of hostage/prisoner. In order to survive, you convince yourself that the captor is truly working towards your best interests.

I didn't live through CSA, so it's impossible for me to speak to it. I was kidnapped, but only for a period of days. I occasionally (but infrequently) display some Stockholm-type thinking, but I don't think I was there long enough to cultivate it.

What separates the authentic syndrome from the catch-all idea of it, to me, has to do with how feelings extend past captivity. In the Stockholm situation, those hostages remained convinced of their captors' innocence for quite some time. In other words, people with full blown Stockholm syndrome are not aware that they have it. It continues past the point of being released or rescued.

Not to say that others in different situations can't/don't experience traits of it, or won't find it useful as a way of understanding some thoughts they have that are confusing - just saying that it is often stretched past it's rather narrow boundaries of origin.

Aren't there other terms for maladaptive trauma bonding? Maybe not.

 

[shimmerz]

Yes. And it is a repeated issue for me in life it seems. Hopefully I have it right this time.

 

[Ronin]

Honestly I think trauma bonding captor-captive is lot more complex than Stockholm syndrome descriptions commonly speak of.

So as to answer, not quite. What that syndrome describes, describes just only one part of the dynamics, and isn't helpful to me to grasp the attachment mess that went on with people I was a slave of.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Does anything resonate with your experience, in this article?

Absoulty, I was told by my therapist early in and for quite a few yrs that I had Stockholm Syndrome as id stick up for my mom & step dad, what they did and made me do was right & correct and not a damn soul could talk me out of that (with crossed arms and everything). I dont think its a diagnosis, more of something to be aware of, educate myself on (though that took forever to do) and to notice.

Today, not as much though i do stick up for my mom a bit, its more of an understanding of what that is, why its there or why i do that.

I dont know if any of that makes any sense.

 

[Friday]

My off the cuff answer:

Nope! The captors I formed a bond with deserved it, they're f*cking awesome people. :D I just happened to meet them under really shitty circumstance.

***

...But the more truthful answer is even the ones I want(ed) to die screaming? Yes. There is a bond there with some of them. Not all, or even most of them, though. It's a difficult and complicated thing to describe.

Its something I try not to think about overmuch. That said, once upon a time I did decide that there was very much a relationship with longevity & allegiances. When I had rock solid allegiance elsewhere? Even though I knew no one was coming for me, it created a very real distance between myself and my captors. It was when I had no allegiance elsewhere, or worse, was betrayed that things got very murky. Sigh. It's complicated. And my head doesn't do complicated right now. In order to uncomplicate it the first time I had to spend far too long on my own away from people, and then spend even longer breaking relationships of all kinds down to atoms.

***

Simon said it better than I can... But I think there's a danger in trying to oversimplify things... Like attaching Stockholm Syndrome to all life or death situations where there is a bond with your abuser.

Are there going to be similarities in all life or death situations where there is a bond with your abuser? Yup. That piece right there. But I think some key differences between all those myriad situations create a different playing field of problems.

- Adult who knows (or knew) the world //vs// Child who is learning the world
- Someone you know, love, and have chosen to be with //vs// it's natural/expected for you to be with them //vs.// A complete stranger, for whom there is no prior existing attachment (nor expected one! Biologically or sanely), are being held against your will
- Actually imprisoned vs "feeling" imprisoned

Shrug. I've done the hostage/prisoner thing. I've done the domestic violence thing. At least in my own experience? They're wildly different experiences, and the points of similarity are superficial at best. When I try to apply DV stuff to hostage/prisoner stuff? SMH. Things go badly. And vice versa. It muddies the waters rather than clearing them.

 

[ghotiff]

I think that there is basically no negative stigma with Stockholm syndrome so it's a tempting explaination to use. I felt (feel?) a lot of shame for the feelings I had as a child for my abuser, the Stockholm syndrome explaination helps de-shame it for me. I would like a more on-point explaination, but I don't have one unfortunately.

 

[Ronin]

the Stockholm syndrome explaination helps de-shame it for me.

I think this touches on another problem that's cultural / civilizational - pretending keeping another person's freedom is a thing people in 'civilized, current' countries, just do not do. Is a thing of the past. Is a thing of the extremes. Is a thing people can't have a direct experience with. So the way it's dialogued about (not at all or in passing mentions and completely decontextualized) gets framed a certain way from the scratch, which isn't a good thing, but is not a fault of the people trying to talk about experiences.

 

[Klo]

I had it with my parents. The real "fun" didn't show up until I started breaking out of it. That's when all of this insane rage came out. These days I tend to cycle between a calmer acceptance, these creepy conditioned feelings to protect my abusers from everything, and intense rage towards them that can border on homicidal feelings at its worst. I probably could have qualified for full-blown Borderline PD for a few years during this initial process.

 

[Ronin]

I probably could have qualified for full-blown Borderline PD for a few years during this initial process.

Not really.
Personality disorders are understood to be present from childhood.
Part of why they're called personality disorders.

And the 'inappropriate' affect concerning BPD criteria specifically, is very debatable.
If someone's abusing you, anger IS appropriate.
(So basically saying, with a bad diagnostician, maybe. That doesn't a reality make.)

 

[Klo]

(So basically saying, with a bad diagnostician, maybe. That doesn't a reality make.)

Yes I agree with you, but I think it's important for people to understand how recovering from trauma can look like all sorts of things. Especially for professionals to understand this. Like I said, I met the criteria - for about a few years. When I finally "popped" out of dissociation, there was so much horrendous emotion under there that I really started to go "crazy" for a while. It's very hard when you are bounced in/out of the mental health system because then professionals only see time-bubbled snippets and not the whole picture. This has actually lead to me being given several (wrong) diagnoses over the years. If I gather them altogether in a timeline it's more obvious what has really happened throughout my life.