Stockholm Syndrome?

[Abstract]

Just dropping off a little comfort to anyone throughout who is feeling invalidated and offended. Their experiences or their words.

 

[Ronin]

It took me 5 minutes to read that and interpret the differnece for myself. So whilst being captive may be part of your abuse, was that an actual hostage situation? Or was that part and parcel of your abuse patterns? That is the difference.

This.

That twisting of very, very basic definitions that are rather clear cut with claiming 'but experience!' drives me nuts.

Thank you.

 

[anthony]

Not really. Not when, yes a parent that birthed me, chained me to a wall, put me in a closet for however long she wished, chained me to a bed for days at a time, chained me outside for days at a time, chained me to the toliet, etc. And other things i have yet to write about on here. I felt captured.

I think this answers the above.

Why are you completely ignoring the "kidnapping" and "captor" aspects of Stockholm Syndrome?

IMHO this is akin to ignoring criterion A of PTSD.

People should not self-diagnose, that is rule #1. If your therapist / psychiatrist says you have stockholm syndrome, then run with it. If not, you should NOT be attempting to self diagnose with something based on your interpretation of fitting yourself into a definition so you can apply it to yourself.

That is very dangerous logic and if anything, shows more of a victim mentality. You want to wear labels that you self apply in order to justify your trauma. There is no need to justify your trauma, your trauma happened. What you want to be doing is working through your trauma towards having no labels, by no longer meeting the diagnostic terms for them.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

If your therapist / psychiatrist says you have stockholm syndrome, then run with it. If not, you should NOT be attempting to self diagnose with something based on your interpretation of fitting yourself into a definition so you can apply it to yourself.

My therapist DID say I had it. Several times. And then worked with me for years. I dont have it today but he did tell me I had it.

And Im not fitting myself to it. I am finding out answers as to why my head works the way it does.

And i already said i was ok with the term "trauma bonding", or any other term for that matter, as long as it answers why.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

ETA:

Me having it came from my therapist.

And then a therapist that advised a had a bit of stolkholm and worked with me for a few years straight with it.

in reality my therapist advised i had it and then worked with me for years with it

He never uttered trama bonding but he said that i likely have "a bit of" and so it was likely a mixture of the 2.

I am very down with naming things the way they are. I really honestly have no issue with "trauma bonding" rather than "stalkholm" and did admit it could be both, a little of each or straddling the line or how ever one would measure that.

But honestly, as long as the "why"s are answered, I honestly dont care what its called really. I just want to name what goes on in my head is all.

Is it trauma bonding? Could be and im ok about that. As long as it answers "why", Im fine with it as Im not "twisting" a syndrome to fit me but rather Im trying to answer existing "why"s.

ETA.2: I didnt post that to be a smart ass or anything. After a while it gets a bit frustrating to continously repeat yourself and I know not everyone up reads a thread so i wanted to gather all of that in one place. After looking at it, it looks rather "smart ass-ish" so I just wanted to clarify on that.

 

[EveHarrington]

I cant quite understand the rigid definition you're clinging to here @EveHarrington....

You don't understand what I'm trying to say and you're now turning it into a joke by making comparisons that are absurd.

Stockholm syndrome is a way of explaining why kidnapees bond with their captors. Kidnapees who should not be bonding with the person who ripped them away from their lives and stole their freedom. Abused kids have other reasons for bonding with their abusive parents or grandparents or aunts or uncles or neighbors or-------I could go on ad nauseam.

Stockholm syndrome is explaining a very specific relationship and to abstract this to other things that sorta/maybe fit is a complete misinterpretation of what this syndrome is.

I stand by what I said. It's not (as implied) me being overly rigid in applying this concept. Rather, I thoroughly understand why the syndrome was created and who it applies to.

So can I ask why people are trying to twist the concept to suit their needs? I think this is a slap in the face of those who actually have been kept captive and developed this syndrome. Why are you completely minimizing the aspect of ZERO freedom? I honestly think this has a lot to do with Stockholm Syndrome develops-------it is integral to its formation. A non captive situation-----------it may be sorta/kinda/maybe similar in the surface, but underneath------completely different.

So let's take stock------

Kidnapped by a stranger/unknown person.

Person held captive has zero freedom. (At later stages after brainwashing, freedoms may be granted.)

Ok-------these two aspects are required by the syndrome as I understand it.

Abuse by parents? Nope. Not the same dynamic. Not by a long shot.



I advise you to look at the forest. You're focusing on the trees.

 

[anthony]

@lostforgottensoul, I don't even understand why you're in this thread posting repetitively about snippets of your history as though eluding towards something, then defending your own partial informations, as though attention seeking behaviour. If you have been diagnosed with stockholm syndrome, then just say that and leave it at that, as there are more people in this thread than just you and your situation. A response is not to you unless noted as such, as I just did.

 

[sedna]

You don't understand what I'm trying to say and you're now turning it into a joke by making compa...

@EveHarrington

When any difference of opinion occurs on this forum it's always just that, a difference of opinion. Neither one of us are psychiatrists.

I have a habit of sounding authoritative because I need to sound that way. Ironically, I joined here to hang on to my softer side and get in touch with some vulnerability.

No need to point out where I've lost the plot on that.

I really am sorry if I made you feel like your comment was a joke. I think the fact that it was listed out like like factual evidence made me go on auto pilot.

If you want to say that SS diagnosis is for people kidnapped by strangers only then thats you're prerogative

Most psychiatrists use the diagnostic criteria for acute stress disorder or post traumatic stress disorder when they evaluate for S.S. syndrome anyway.

The comparisons I gave aren't absurd. Whether its you or I, or a person who thinks they have Stockholm Syndrome, at the end of the day it's the doctor that tells them what they have. If they dont agree, they get a different doctor to give a second opinion, and keep going to doctors until they hear or believe what works for them.

Right now we are two unqualified people arguing over an armchair diagnosis of theoretical victims and their rights.

 

[anthony]

How do I like that... like a thousand times? Come'on... where is the 1000 like button?

Ok... sarcasm just moved onwards and upwards. :D

 

[katz]

I was so young when my dad hurt me, yet to this day, I can't feel anger at him. He is still the first one that I think of when I'm going to buy a gift for or bring a dish to a holiday dinner. I quickly think to myself is he will like it or not.
Why should it matter to me?
Is this The Stockholm? Or did he just do an excellent job of "training' me? " I've never been quite sure. And I still can't feel the anger that is "supposed to be there" for some one who hurt me this bad and for this long. Could this be why I can't feel anger at him?

I have also learned very well how to just bury feelings. Maybe that is what I am doing--but why would I want to please him--of all people?

 

[katz]

Not really. Not when, yes a parent that birthed me, chained me to a wall, put me in a closet...

I agree with what you said. I certainly didn't just google it and find out the term and definition of PTSD. Then start telling people that I had it.
I had a doctor tell me that it was what I had. I can't describe the relief at having a name for my condition, other then "nuts, or crazy."

For me, it was a good thing to have a name for it--especially coming from a doctor. I never would have even come up with this name for it. So, it was a complete surprise when she told me.

I didn't really want to know if I had SS. I was just curious about finding out why I still have the kind of relationship I have with my abuser. Friendly, social. no anger. SS? or just good grooming mixed with strong repressed memories and feelings?