Do You Think

[Tinyflame]

Real caring can't be faked. Not for any length of time anyway. If she seems to care, she really does. If she didn't you would have noticed by now

I do agree with @sun seeker but I don't agree with the above.

It's called transference - the pain of what others have done is transferred onto your therapist, making you believe they are likely to respond the same way

It's projection - you believe the way you see yourself is the way your T sees you

I think those can both be true, but the 3rd option is reality; they do care, or they are repulsed, or they don't care

. Statistically, it's not gong to be new to them, however. They do this for a living.

:hug: 's @Snowflake .

 

[Snowflake]

Me and my T are going through the same process.

It's called transference - the pain of what others have do...

Wow @GMW this sounds so similar to how I think and feel!

 

[GMW]

I think those can both be true, but the 3rd option is reality; they do care, or they are repulsed, or they don't care

:hug: 's @Snowflake .

Need to add in the caveat that if they don't care - you're with the wrong therapist that has NOTHING to do with you, everything to do with them either being in the wrong job or having issues they've not worked through. A good therapist will always care.

Secondly if a good therapist is repulsed - they are repulsed by what has happened TO you, not by you yourself. If a therapist IS repulsed by you, again... that's all on them and nowt to do with you. Go and find yourself someone better, you deserve it.

I told my therapist my magic number of abusers and she couldn't help but get a bit "oh god" about it. She shook her head and repeated the number back to me and looked down as if shocked and appalled. Sometimes when I tell her things about my mum I sense irritation and anger. But I've come to the conclusion she's reacting to the injustice of how I was treated because she cares, not because she doesn't believe me or is repulsed. How do I know this? I know what her normal behaviours are. If it was me, when talking about anything she would respond with this irritation and tension. It only happens when discussing my mum and recently not at all - she's come to expect my mum to be a horrible bitch I think!

So bottom line - talk to your therapist, see what they say and do. If you're still unsure and unhappy, it's perfectly acceptable to keep looking. It's not a reflection on you.

 

[Snowflake]

I do think my therapist cares but still there's that part of me that second guesses everything.

 

[Freedomfighter]

I think you would know. I've met a few "mental health professionals" (not actual therapists) who do...

Yeah, I think you would know, even though PTSD itself can totally disable our regular thinking processes and freeze up. But there were many people in my life who only pretended to care, so how would I know?

 

[aut555]

Yeah, I think you would know, even though PTSD itself can totally disable our regular thinking p...

Get that. Like is this mandatory that the therapist really cares? I have had some bad therapists and one really good one. Yes, he genuinely cared, but you didn't know he was doing therapy. It felt more like a good friend instead of a parent figure.