Does Anyone Else Cry While Having A Ptsd Attack?

[Anna]

I can be numb for a long period of time. Then suddenly I will experience extreme emotional pain where I start to shake and will cry. Sometimes there is no trigger. I normally go somewhere where noone can see me or tell people if they ask what is wrong that I have a headache. I know it will pass, but it is a horrible horrible feeling.

 

[Changing4Best]

When I was losing my business (which was also my home) I was terrified, but I was also crying, one time for 14 hours nonstop. I lost the business and ended up homeless for 3 years in the streets begging. I had foreseen that, knew it was coming. Not your average life event, not your average grief reaction. Both, however, most real!

During the time I was actually homeless, I was numb. I just did what I had to do, begging in the streets so I could eat and take a shower in a cheap motel room and then sleep, until I had to get up and do it all over again. Day after day this went on and on... until I got my Di$ability Insurance. Then, after awhile, and a church halping me, I was able to get it together enough to rent a small one-room apartment (everything in one room). It was a refurbished garage, but hey, it was my home for 6 years, until I finally got it together to move several states away and get a one-bedroom apartment. I moved away so that I did not have to live where I had been homeless.

All this winter, long after all that is over, I have been feeling DOWN. The winter doldrums, yes, but I feel something more deep and sinister as well. I am in Therapy, but I have no clue what is causing it, this depression. All I know is that I am feeling it and feeling it and feeling it...

 

[pumpkinpie]

When I was losing my business (which was also my home) I was terrified, but I was also crying, one time for 14 hours nonstop. I lost the business and ended up homeless for 3 years in the streets begging. I had foreseen that, knew it was coming. Not your average life event, not your average grief reaction. Both, however, most real.

Oh, S.B. That's a horrible thing to have to go through. And it just adds another layer of trauma to what was already there. I became homeless right after I turned 49, but had barely been hanging onto a few different temporary places for the previous 4 years.

During what time of the year was it the worst? Is it that time now? It is for me, and the weather right now reminds me of it and the associated humiliation, grief and exposedness to other bad experiences. I have been in my own place for a year now and am just starting to feel safe (as in, that I have a place to call home). Now why can't I suppress THAT memory? :confused: Glad you are home, too!

 

[Changing4Best]

I was in Florida, thankfully, I cannot imagine having been homeless in the winter in a place that gets ice and snow. Even so, when I got up at 4AM to go out and beg for money by the highway in the dark, often there was ice on the puddles and I had to be careful not to slip because of not seeing one. All I had was a light jacket and also a slightly less light one that I wore both at the same time. I was in the Tampa Bay area, by the ocean in Clearwater, Florida. While begging, I would depend upon the headlights of the cars to keep from being hit by one of them. I also depended upon the light to show me brightly to my givers, who pityingly handed me dollar bills out their windows as they waited for the light to turn green.

During the early morning hours like that, the police were mostly off duty, changing shifts, so I could make enough by 11AM to go stay in a motel usually. I rarely went roofless for a night at least and I always had enough to eat, thank God!

It is a good point, thanks for shairng that, that it is the same time of year though. It sure was tougher during the winter down there to be homeless!

 

[Annicus]

I for a long time didn't let myself feel anything. I pushed all the emotions down and now they are overflowing. I have been crying a lot lately, making oceans with my tears yet at the same time I'm so full of rage.

 

[Mercy]

So often I find myself struggling almost frantically to calm myself down and quell my tears, aware that he has to leave and that I need to get myself together, struggling for dignity and composure and the decency of respecting his need to leave, and yet literally physically unable to do so. It feels like a complete loss of control and a plummetting tumbling sensation of complete emotional freefall - very very scarey and distressing.

Dear MD,

That free fall and tumbling feeling are scarry. After a session sometimes, I have had to sit out my tears in the ladies room before I can feel somewhat grounded again.


I do think that tears comes along with PTSD. Many of us have so many things to grieve about. Sometimes, I cry over things that I missed out on 9n my childhood. Not much time for play as a trafficked child. I've been having to do a lot of intense grief work. It is as if some one I love just died (over 25yrs.) ago, actually I think I might be crying for me. My T says that is good. T also says crying is like cleansing, washing away a little of the suffering we endured and still endure in memory, flashbacks, an illnesses. There is no shame in crying, That is just a left over stereotype. It takes a big hearted man to cry.
:bawling:
:(
It is tiring but worth it.
:cry:

Sending you a virtual box of tissues
:tup::hug: