Does Anyone Else Feel Like

[jd9900]

...that you have been paying the pied piper for so goddamn long that you are entitled to happiness, it is not simply a goal to strive for but a right?

I feel that way.

 

[arfie]

Yea, I feel that way often. I treat it like more feeling than fact. My personal fact in it is that the feeling still haunts me, even when I have managed to get exactly what I want. Getting exactly what I wanted was up close and personal proof that some of God's greatest blessings are unanswered prayers. Hope I am okay using the g-word and p-word in your post. No offense intended. Strictly personal.

Success is getting what I want.
Happiness is wanting what I get.

 

[jd9900]

Thanks Arfie. ... For a long time now I have believed I was happy because I was "successful" in society's eyes. But for almost the entire time I felt like I was instead just digging a deeper hole for myself to live in. I can relate to that feeling of...sadness when you actually get what you want. Especially as a man of science. It seems I have a draw to that need to fail one hounded thousand times more so than I am attracted to that one eureka moment. The failure means I am still trying, and the success means, for me at least, that in many ways it just means I have a new problem to solve.

 

[arfie]

"Success means...I have a new problem to solve."

PLAGIARIST ALERT! Consider that one stolen!

Not to worry. If I steal from one author it is plagiarism. If I steal from many, it is research. Your donated phrase will have good company.

 

[jd9900]

How do I end the cycle? I have found myself, and accepted my flaws. Does it end when I am finally not an alcoholic? I haven't drank in a while yet I am always still that man with that disease. Can I never be the "better than" version I so much desire to be? I am seconds away from a drink. because I feel like no matter how optimistic my outlook is I am just faking the funk..

Oh hell. I realize what this is all about. I am feeling sorry for myself. I am going to stop now. NOW. Nobody can make me happy or sad accept for me, and I forgot for a moment I have that ability.

 

[jd9900]

All the greats have stolen at one point in their lives from what I have seen. ::) But I very much respect you citing your quote.

 

[jd9900]

*reads now that you didn't cite* Hehe. Awkward. Still the honesty is the important thing. :)


EDIT: Thank you for the support.

 

[arfie]

"Without plagiarism, there would be no human culture." ~Samuel Clemens

Methinks I have decided I want the cycle to go on forever. May growth never end. May day forever follow night.

 

[EverOnly358]

@jd9900,

I do. {{{Hugs}}} We'll get it.

"Success means...I have a new problem to solve."
Your donated phrase will have good company.

ANOTHER PLAGIARIST ALERT! Consider that one stolen!

Not to worry. If I steal from one author it's plagiarism. If I steal from many, it's research.

I like research, LOL! :roflmao: :laugh: :roflmao:

EverOnly

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

Constantly :P And then I get angry because I feel entitled and yet I also feel like I'm not getting what I want. But as long as we feel entitled and uptight about it, I guess we don't allow much room for being actually happy...

I've had plenty of times where I thought I was the luckiest person on earth, and that things were actually balancing out with all the horrible crap from the past. Like when I first flew, like when I went parachuting. But those moments pass, you lose the euphoric feeling, and then you feel entitled again. Never ending mental spiral.

I guess when we live through really nice moments, we have to make sure we don't forget them. It's okay to forget them for a while, but we have to make sure to remember them at some point when we're in rock bottom. Because if we remember those things, we'll also remember that good things do come.

 

[rightkindofme]

No, I don't feel entitled to happiness. I kind of wish I did. I'm one of those "shattered illusion" people and I think that I will spend most of my life having a series of bad things happen to me.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

No, I don't either. Awhile ago I learned that happiness is a matter of being happy with what you have. Constantly wanting something else causes unhappiness and suffering. I'm not saying we should all be happy that we have PTSD, rather accept where we are in life and strive to heal, knowing that this is a temporary state if we work toward change.

Is the feeling of entitlement related to your current situation?