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Does anyone go in and out of denial?

All. The. Time.
And like Freida.....I've lost count of how many times I've said to my T

"You don't KNOW that this is all real. There is way too much that I've not been able to remember. Maybe I'm just better at telling stories than you are detecting lies. Maybe I'm just a really good liar and you can't tell.
(I'm not, I'm actually a HORRIBLE liar. My face, nor my conscience will cooperate and he knows it) Maybe I'm unconsciously making this all up because I'm overdramatic and want attention"

If Freida had said "He" instead of "She" I'd have said it sounds like we're seeing the exact same person. He keeps telling the same thing Freida's T does.....That he's been doing this for a very very long time and that' he's good at it. And keeps assuring me that despite what little I've verbally shared with him about it yet, my behavior/issues/triggers, ect are all very much consistent with what one would expect to see in someone with my trauma, even if I keep trying to fuel the denial part. That my behavior tells him more than I realize. He keeps telling me it's all normal. That my behavior is normal. That accepting it and then denying it again, back and forth over and over, is expected. Normal with this kind of thing.

I don't feel normal.
It's strange how everyone is describing exactly how I feel and what I say to my therapist all the time. Definitely seems like part of the process and maybe the brain gets scared when we share things so has to protect itself a bit then feel safe to share another little thing then protects itself again by dissociating and feeling less real and causing doubt.