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Does anyone go in and out of denial?

Rachel541

New Here
I verbalised my trauma for what is actually was to my therapist because I wanted to push myself to acknowledge it. I didn't end up well for me. This week it feels so very distant from me. It's as if it doesn't belong to me. I still get flashbacks but feel disconnected. Is this just part how it all works?
 
Very little makes me as happy as finding my people with whom I can laugh with over things that would have most other people running from me
My fave trauma therapist… who volunteers with NGOs a few months outta the year… and I had a standing joke/commiseration about the “Wrong crowd! Wrong crowd!” 😱 moment; when one tells the hilarious mass grave (or whatever) story to? The PTA. Or 9-5 work friends. Or at the family party. Whoops! Face. Palm. Wrong crowd! Wrong crowd!

And??? Ooooooh shit. Dammit!!! >.<

The balance of …not exactly, but also not-not-normalizing… but MORE the clarity of shared experience? Cannot be understated.
 
Yepper!

My dissociation has become a kinda joke between me and my therapist because even after all these years of therapy, and all the acknowledgement that trauma is real, I will still start some sessions with....

"You are a lousy therapist because you can't see that I'm lying my ass off."
Then she laughs and says "I'm very good at my job. Much better than you are at denial and dissociation"

Talking about trauma and then dissociating from "OMG I talked about TRAUMA" is just a normal part of the oh-such-fun journey that is ptsd. 😃
 
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