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Does Anyone Have A High Iq
- Post starter Springbok
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My whole life I was taught I was very, very stupid and I learned and memorized it . It was yelled at me until I cried. I apologized for it, but it was not forgiven.
My "caregiver" told me it was because of my stupidity that my mother gave me away to her, and she would too if I didn't try harder. If I ever were to repeat a schoolyear, she promised me, I would go into the orphanage. I was very bad in school and when I made my first friendships with 15, 16 I was the dumb one. It became part of my behavior, part of how I communicated myself to others. It became my role. I was good at it.
When I became a young adult I had learned I was not so stupid after all. Nobody won a puzzle against me, but well, any idiot can watch documentaries all day, right? Its what I was told and what I believed.
I knew I was different then many, but I was sure it was just me being an idiot again. Every moment of selfrespect crushed by another humiliation or another burned in memory.
A few months ago I found out I that I am supposedly very, very intelligent with a heap of learning disabilities and attention issues. I still haven't fully recovered from that enormous bombshell. Will I ever?
Tried to reach out in support a few times, but only got shot down hard. "Why does it matter?" "Its just a number." I couldn't communicate my sorrow, the feeling of loss and regret for the actions of others. Like my dead brother, something lost before I had a chance to get to know it.
Many memories have a new edge now. They seem crueler, somehow. Above all is the shame. Toxic shame that refuses to change. Its the one thing I cannot forgive myself. When my partner, or anyone really, somehow reminds me of being different, I can f*cking lose it. Talking to strangers has become even more difficult. From terrible to impossible. This is the first time I dare talk openly about it, and pressing "post reply" is a scary thought.
Hopefully soon, or soonish, therapy will start, and I am more afraid of this topic coming up then any other. I have tried to write a thread about it ten times now, and I never did. Posts were written, some very long, but I always crawled back into my bear cave. My darkest secret carefully hidden away, together with me.
My "caregiver" told me it was because of my stupidity that my mother gave me away to her, and she would too if I didn't try harder. If I ever were to repeat a schoolyear, she promised me, I would go into the orphanage. I was very bad in school and when I made my first friendships with 15, 16 I was the dumb one. It became part of my behavior, part of how I communicated myself to others. It became my role. I was good at it.
When I became a young adult I had learned I was not so stupid after all. Nobody won a puzzle against me, but well, any idiot can watch documentaries all day, right? Its what I was told and what I believed.
I knew I was different then many, but I was sure it was just me being an idiot again. Every moment of selfrespect crushed by another humiliation or another burned in memory.
A few months ago I found out I that I am supposedly very, very intelligent with a heap of learning disabilities and attention issues. I still haven't fully recovered from that enormous bombshell. Will I ever?
Tried to reach out in support a few times, but only got shot down hard. "Why does it matter?" "Its just a number." I couldn't communicate my sorrow, the feeling of loss and regret for the actions of others. Like my dead brother, something lost before I had a chance to get to know it.
Many memories have a new edge now. They seem crueler, somehow. Above all is the shame. Toxic shame that refuses to change. Its the one thing I cannot forgive myself. When my partner, or anyone really, somehow reminds me of being different, I can f*cking lose it. Talking to strangers has become even more difficult. From terrible to impossible. This is the first time I dare talk openly about it, and pressing "post reply" is a scary thought.
Hopefully soon, or soonish, therapy will start, and I am more afraid of this topic coming up then any other. I have tried to write a thread about it ten times now, and I never did. Posts were written, some very long, but I always crawled back into my bear cave. My darkest secret carefully hidden away, together with me.
Ed Norton
Diamond Member
@Mallaky , I think that it's prudent to go by results as to what you can accomplish. Numbers are only important if they are on the airspeed indicator or the altimeter. I will never take an IQ test because I don't wanna be either artificially limited by a number nor inflated to the point of laziness. Raw intelligence is useless without the work and in most cases hard work can compensate for twizzles in the brain. All people have something that hurts the brain.
Case in point, my physical chemistry teacher was brilliant. She was able to explain in English what all of the crazy math meant; it was actually a very understandable course, as long as you had the math and physics basis.
In order to make my point clear, I must explain what physical chemistry consists of: part 1 is thermodynamics, chemical kinetics, and kinetic molecular theory which bridges the two. Part 2 is quantum mechanics, spectroscopy and statistical thermodynamics which bridges classical thermodynamics with quantum mechanics. Then there's a very intense lab that with experiments from both parts. Well, the professor who TAUGHT that once confided in me that nuclear chemistry is absolutely ridiculous and she doesn't know how she ever passed.
Dr. Chao- spectroscopist, physical chemist actually found her twizzle! Mine wasn't physical chemistry and I didn't have nuclear chemistry, it was advanced inorganic chemistry.
You're good! :)
Case in point, my physical chemistry teacher was brilliant. She was able to explain in English what all of the crazy math meant; it was actually a very understandable course, as long as you had the math and physics basis.
In order to make my point clear, I must explain what physical chemistry consists of: part 1 is thermodynamics, chemical kinetics, and kinetic molecular theory which bridges the two. Part 2 is quantum mechanics, spectroscopy and statistical thermodynamics which bridges classical thermodynamics with quantum mechanics. Then there's a very intense lab that with experiments from both parts. Well, the professor who TAUGHT that once confided in me that nuclear chemistry is absolutely ridiculous and she doesn't know how she ever passed.
Dr. Chao- spectroscopist, physical chemist actually found her twizzle! Mine wasn't physical chemistry and I didn't have nuclear chemistry, it was advanced inorganic chemistry.
You're good! :)
My current doc is great, but she knows me. It's the ones who have no connection to me but just make smart-ass predictions (some of them think it works like this...that they actually have this authority in any circumstance, by virtue of their degree). I had one tell my parents to prepare to bury me (due to my self-destructiveness). That was 20-30 years ago. Stupid arrogant f*cker. The insane part is when my parents told me about this I didn't even know which doc they were talking about. He was just some guy who checked my charts I guess but I don't remember ever having a conversation with him.
Anyway, that's a really f*cking stupid statement. Even Mozart functioned in adult society, in his own way. And thank god he was quirky because his gifts save me so often!
D
Deleted member 20978
Just wrote a reply and Chrome crashed on hitting post. Guess a story for another day. About fear of intelligence and lessons learned from getting too close to the sun. Or, a sun. The moral I guess was that heart trumps smart any day.
My dad loved Mozart.
I am sorry so many of us have had abusive experience with care providers. It's actually maybe my biggest fear in considering trying to pursue mental health career. That and I'm severely disabled.
My dad loved Mozart.
I am sorry so many of us have had abusive experience with care providers. It's actually maybe my biggest fear in considering trying to pursue mental health career. That and I'm severely disabled.
@Mallaky...my dad delighted in making me feel stupid.
Other than being learning-disabled in math, he was wrong...but I believed him.
...I don't know why your person and my dad were so determined to squash us like that, why they felt inspired to do that? Predatory self-esteem, I guess. Grinding us into the dirt made them feel empowered.
Other than being learning-disabled in math, he was wrong...but I believed him.
...I don't know why your person and my dad were so determined to squash us like that, why they felt inspired to do that? Predatory self-esteem, I guess. Grinding us into the dirt made them feel empowered.
@Chava
Dabrowski's theoretical perspective is fascinating and very helpful!
I am very grateful to you for introducing me to these ideas!
A thousand times thank you:happy::bookworm::happy::bookworm:
Panda Bear
Platinum Member
Doubtful that my IQ is of any significance.....
@Ed Norton
I'm curious, why would Mensa have rejected Von Karman?
I skimmed the Wikipedia article, what am I missing?
He was obviously brilliant....so I'm a bit puzzled by your comment.
:)
I'm curious, why would Mensa have rejected Von Karman?
I skimmed the Wikipedia article, what am I missing?
He was obviously brilliant....so I'm a bit puzzled by your comment.
:)
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