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Does facebook trigger you? (if not, i could use your insight!)

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Fiona's; you mention no one listening it hearing you.

Thus us a big thing for me too and I think leads...
Absolutely! I was never heard as a child so I shut down emotions because I didn’t matter to anyone. Of course that continued through adulthood including not being seen or heard in any relationships I had including doctors and therapists. It’s really hard when I have learned so much logically as to why everything is the way it is and why people are the way they are so I get it. There isn’t any blaming on my part as to why I seek something that my family members aren’t capable of providing because I understand they don’t work that way.
 
I have not read anyone else's reply, but here is my take on all this. I only read the PMs I get there and some of my alerted things. That is it. I do not read my timeline. I rarely reply to anything or share anything. This is how I deal with FB. I basically have taken a back seat attitude concerning them.

There was a point when I found myself spending about 2 hours a day on there! I said to myself, NO MORE OF THIS! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. So I unfriended a bunch of folks. Basically I unfriended everyone who lived in places that I no longer lived in, with the exception of family members I wanted to stay in touch with. I unfriended about half the people I was friends with, actually.

Now I only go there about once a week. That is all I am in the mood for concerning FB. Any more than that, and I start to feel burdened or put upon.
 
@Fiona ‘ there isn’T any blame from me....’.

This is similar to the kind of stuff I am working with in my therapy :). My therapist is encouraging me to feel ..we haven’t used the word blame actually, but anger and outrage that I have been not heard etc . It’s so odd as society encourages no anger :). Feels so backwards but it’s truly helping
 
@Fiona ‘ there isn’T any blame from me....’.

This is similar to the kind of st...
Thank you for saying this! You’re exactly right that there should be anger, sadness, whatever emotions related to anything that has caused some sort of pain. It needs to be expressed it at the time that the thing that hurt you so those emotions don’t get buried and you’re able to process it and not repress it. I shut off emotions when I was a child and with DID, everything gets tucked away out of consciousness so I don’t feel what I need to feel. That’s why I don’t feel shame about anything. That “shame” is hidden. Anger is hidden. Everything is hidden and I’m not able to access any emotions attached to anything that has to do with my life.

I need to be upset and angry and hate people who has hurt me so I can process emotions I should have felt so that I can heal. Of course, forgiveness would take place and be at peace by going through the grieving process and release those emotions. But, I haven’t been angry or blaming anyone for anything ever. Blame is the wrong word to use but hopefully it makes sense.

Feelings and emotions demand to be heard and they’ll show up in one way or another and for me, that is usually self harm in one form or another. I am not able to access anything really.
 
I hope you start to make progress. I guess we use words like blame . My T says ‘x DID THIS TO YOU!!! How do you feel’. Then we talk about how I feel when x did it to y and finally I started to get anger about z and feeling anger for z is great! It feels kind of odd because it comes with grinning and crying : itsnot pure. I have resentment and anger I can access for my younger person because I was more ‘allowably’ Vulnerable then I guess. So I think that helped me package that. Reconnecting with it as an adult is both healing and terrifying.
 
I hope you start to make progress. I guess we use words like blame . My T says ‘x DID THIS TO YOU!!!...
You know, on my quest to learn everything I can about our brains, child development and just understanding why we do what we do as humans, I learned and continue to learn all I can. But, now I can logically understand why Dad did the horrible things he did and why Mom let him. By way of logic, I see that my parents (actually everyone) were also children and their parents didn’t treat them right to give them better skills for life and to become good parents and so on and so forth. How can I “blame” my parents when their own parents didn’t provide them with the love they needed or all the mistakes they made for having healthy children to become healthy adults? Then on and on it goes right? But, logically I know what children need to feel safe and not be traumatized and abused. I know what I needed and should have had for me to be emotionally, physically, and psychologically healthy.

That’s another thing that I had a hard time with social media. Constantly people saying pull yourself up from your bootstraps no matter what. There is absolutely no reason for people not to work. You’re just lazy if you’re on social security disability or having any mental illnesses, trauma, etc. Constantly people saying that everyone is a snowflake because you have empathy???? Then both men and women going onto sites trolling the comments that have to do with rape and assault and...you know...it’s horrifying what people do and say to each other.

I don’t know how people can do that and I added so much suffering onto what I already had previous to being on Facebook.
 
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