I don't know if you're still posting on this thread, but it would be really helpful to know how you have made your recov...
I don't come here that much anymore, but decided to tonight, so to answer your question, what helped me a lot was committing to taking care of myself, eating well and I had to take some time off from the working world in order to heal...like a few years. Way more than I ever would have wanted to prior to my traumas, but that's how it goes. I recognised that my health is valuable, and my mental health is my number one priority, as well as my happiness.
I saw a number of psychologists/counsellors over the last 10 years in particular, and I'm sure they all contributed. I took zoloft for a period of time...I used all the tools available to me...art, crystals, aromathrapy, medication. I did not take drugs or drink for a very long time and just focussed on eating well, getting enough sleep and doing basic things...taking a walk when I felt up to it...journaling, painting, playing with pets. I think that my dedication to zen and meditation years before had set me up for a general sense of acceptance for what happened to me and I did not really spend much time in denial...although victim mentality did rear it's head for a while...I feel like I have a better grip on it.
I spent a lot of time on my own...and I accepted that it was best for me to be alone, not just because other people wouldn't understand or be very helpful most likely, but because I knew that it wasn't fair to bring my issues into a relationship with anyone, so I accepted where I was at. I did not have much or any real support from other people besides counsellors and my journal and the canvas or art work I created. I'm not exactly sure how I did manage to tell the truth...as I went through a lot while i was in this state as well...homelessness, fairly long term unemployment, no friends, family who were horrible to me and I eventually cut them out of my life.
I think I just can thank a very strong sense of self reliance, and understanding of how important that is...but to be honest, good friends would have really made my process a lot faster. I don't like to think where I would be now if more people had have been able or willing even to be with me through it, instead of just not even bother with me. I was badly behaved at times, but I wasn't that bad.
Yeah, also my spiritual practises no doubt played an important role in helping me heal. I am a reiki channel and have always had a keen understanding of colours as being therapeutic, and I was very much into personal development in my early twenties, before all the trauma happened...or really just after actually but I wasn't completely hampered by symptoms at that stage. I did a lot of work sifting through all my thoughts and beliefs, and opinions...letting go of what were imposed on me by others and society and was really honest with myself.
I spent time in nature, which is immensely helpful. I forced myself to leave the house and go for walks with the dog, and made that a habit. I held on. I kept going when I wanted to not be here anymore. I don't know how I made it through, and I still am affected by triggers and occasional flashbacks, so it's not as though I am 'cured'. I don't think CPTSD is like that.
I found support online, friends who also have CPTSD and were further along their healing journey, so I had help there suddenly and people who were willing to listen to me and empathise and didn't judge me. Don't think I did anything much more different to many people here though. Adopted a cat...cat died, and another one came along and he's still with me now. I managed to find work that was not too full on and only 3 days a week which sustained me. I'm at school now so I kept occupied that way.
I eliminate anyone who begins to display behaviour that I know is harmful or unhealthy for me to be around. Recently I transferred into another class at school as my teacher has no empathy and is an ex IDF soldier who thinks he's still in bootcamp and treats us all as though we are soldiers and not students...so I walked away, and I will continue to walk away from anyone who compromises my mental health or well being. I'm fierce about that now.
Not sure what else I can tell you? I just finally found a group of people who are empathic and supportive and helpful to be around...even if I don't always see them as much as I'd like to, I know they are there and I can go to them anytime. I live on my own so I don't have to worry about not fitting into anyone elses vibe or expectations. It's just me and the cat and we're fine together. I am finding a lot more balance and am pretty functional now I think. I have my meltdowns of course, and I know how to take care of myself when I do.
I don't spend too much time on forums...not because this place has not been super helpful for me and I can see how it has transformed many peoples lives here for the better...I just find they can also encourage people to form little groups where they support each other to the point where they become very comfortable within them, and that becomes incentive to never leave or get better...because they you will have outgrown or have to go out into the scary world again and not have that security blanket anymore. I've always seen forums as a pit stop towards recovery...not a place to shack up and call home. Not saying that to offend anyone in particular here as such...just that I can see it happens. I want to get better, not just stay ill to have friends I can relate to.
I think willingness to look at what triggers me and see it as an opportunity to heal from helps. Exercise helps. Breathing well helps. Eating well helps. Journaling helps. Art helps. Music helps. No contact with harmful relatives helps. cups of tea help. Self pleasuring helps.
It might give me a better idea of where your friend is at if you give me more information about what ways in which he is coping now...for example, does he self medicate? Is he seeing a therapist? Does he have a strong support network...besides you obviously? How bad is he at the moment?
