You see this is what happens when you all go off and have thinking time without me. Its all f*cked here now. Cows? Sheep? Mythology.
You want to know about the beast? I will tell you. Its name is Dave Tomlinson. Supports Mansfield Town (so he is a c*nt right from the off). A bit tall, almost gangly. Wears a mansfield scarf, tied up like his mother did it. Used to teach geography to 4th years but an unsubstantiated claim of ahem... advances was made by some girls, so now he is a freelance driving instructor. Oh there have been incidents. One or two. Whispers around the village. But there he is. Blackish hair going a bit grey (late 40's you see). A bit stuck up by a short cut... almost a flat top is it dave? Glasses, thick black rims. trousers not quite long enough... Thats the beast. And I will f*cking have you Tomlinson. FACT.