Sexual Assault Does the offender sometimes try to make something a trigger for when you develop ptsd?

[Justmehere]

Trying to psychoanalyze this person isn’t going to help right now. None of us have any way to know what he was thinking, we are not mind readers. Continuing to guess is likely to be wrong.

It’s unknown as to what mental health condition you may have, and self diagnosis could lead to greater suffering for you by guessing wrong.

Here’s what is known: you are suffering, you deserve help and support working this all through, and it’s time to get help. You have done what you can on your own, but you are clearly still suffering quite a bit. You’ve been kicked out of college and are facing significant difficulties moving forward. It may be hard to trust, but getting in to see a doctor or therapist is how someone begins to get their life back from mental illness and trauma.

I hope you’ll consider what you can do today to start the process to get in to see a therapist soon.

 

[Ronin]

^^^

And: I don't believe in most settings, perpetrators 'plant' triggers with any specific purpose. (I'm using trigger in the general sense here, as something to bring out a reaction. Not a specific reaction one develops later on. I don't believe that can be really schemed.)

Taken things? Can be reclaimed. You're alive & not missing something in a physical sense. So it can be reclaimed.

 

[Suzetig]

PTSD isn't something you can self diagnose, there are many symptoms which overlap with other conditions and it's a complex assessment process.

It's enough that you are understandably struggling with having been sexually assaulted without trying to work out what your abuser was thinking - I very much doubt he had any concern for you or the impact of his behaviour on you.

Given that you're struggling, it's worth making an appointment with your GP to start working out what kind of care you need to heal from this.

 

[Deleted member 45588]

@Justmehere

Thank-you for your advice, I will try and talk to a GP for a diagnosis of PTSD, that is if I have it.

I am pretty certain it's PTSD because of the traumatic event and all the symptoms and different criterions on the DSM-5 seem to match quite well and enough to warrant a diagnosis but I also think I may have BPD as well as PTSD. I want trauma focused CBT for PTSD and DBT for BPD. My parents believe me about the PTSD but not about the BPD. I'm kind of scared people will change their view of me if I'm diagnosed with BPD, and I'm kind of crapping myself about the stupid assumption that people with BPD make false accusations for attention.

I agree with you on the self-diagnosis thing though to a certain degree - I think it takes time and experience for a non-professional to realize they have PTSD, and what happened to them was not their fault and was in fact sexual assault. I think self-diagnosis is ok as long as you have thought about it for a long time before you made that decision. I mean, when you get intense flashbacks it's hard not to think it's PTSD. If that's coupled with shaking, sweating, dilated pupils, raised heartrate, etc, etc, etc then you can be almost certain it's PTSD, physical symptoms like that don't happen for nothing. But I'll read the thread you linked and see what I feel, but I definitely want an official diagnosis if I have PTSD so I can finally get help for whatever my problem may be.

 

[Gs172003]

I doubt he planned to create a trigger in the process of disgustingly sexually assaulting you. He proba...

It sounds like you associate his act with your drawing. Get help and you should be able to work through that

 

[joeylittle]

I will try and talk to a GP for a diagnosis of PTSD, that is if I have it.

This is your next step. Or, if your parents are willing to pay out of pocket, you could go immediately to a qualified psychiatric diagnostician, and from there into therapy.

(UK members, please correct me if I’m wrong about this process and her options).

Nothing would be stopping you from pursuing diagnosis and treatment, sounds like.

 

[EveHarrington]

Personality disorders are usually rooted in early childhood. Did something traumatic happen to you before this?

 

[Deleted member 45588]

@EveHarrington

I had a happy childhood with no traumas or abuse, I was a teen when it happened to me but that's the only trauma I've had.

 

[Suzetig]

It's sounds like you've done a lot of reading and research but self diagnosing PTSD and bpd is a very bad idea simply because of the potential implications for you if you have either diagnosis. There are a lot of mistaken diagnosis between PTSD, BDP, attachment disorder etc and you do need someone objective to work through it with you.

@joeylittle is right in that you can seek private psychiatry or indeed private therapy though psychotherapists in the uk dont traditionally diagnose.

 

[Deleted member 45588]

@Suzetig I think you and the others are right, I will keep an open-mind for other possibilities of a diagnosis or the chance of there being no diagnosis at all from someone who is actually qualified. It was just comforting after years of painful flashbacks to finally be able to 'explain' it and self-diagnosing PTSD helped me stop blaming myself, but I'm only ever going to get help for my problems if I get a proper assessment. It made me feel more in control of my life because I could finally understand my reactions and control them. But yeah, I'll be seeing a GP even though it's really difficult to talk about what happened hopefully will finally solve my problems, whatever they may be. I just feel like self-diagnosing helped me rather feeling confused, distressed and out of control, but I'm ready to keep an open-mind now and I'll try not to blame myself like before.

 

[Suzetig]

I can totally understand the comfort in identifying what might be going on with you - but much better to get an independent, professional view that feel your way through by yourself.

Good luck with your GP, you don't need to disclose anything to them btw, just that you've experienced trauma as teen and it's impacting you now and ask for a referral to psychiatry.

 

[Scarlet13]

So, you do not have to give up drawing or shading. Therapy can really help with that.
You could also look into clay: wheel throwing or hand building ceramic forms.
This is very unlike shading and it is very soothing to PTSD and calming to the nervous system.
There is also painting and collage.
Most artists don't really need to shade.
I can shade and am good at it, but in my art practice I use ink and gouache.
I do use a pencil to draw, but no shading.
People talking to me is a trigger. But I cannot avoid that!
So, what I am saying is that there are many art forms you can do and they may be triggering, but they will be diff enough from shading.
There will be a 'little by little' aspect in art, but there are so many expressive ways around that.