Does this happen with your doctors? And, if so, do you mind?

[RVA21]

I find that slightly odd because when my doctor checks my heart in the health centre she only gets me to lift my top a bit and then just sort of goes under it. The only time I've had to take my top off was when they checked my heart in the hospital to put those electrode thingies on for a few minutes.

 

[Neverthesame]

I've never had to take my shirt off for a stethoscope, or pull it up even. I'm male, so it wouldn't even be asking much. As with Lumos I just have to untuck mine and the doc goes under.
Still, it doesn't sound like the doctor did anything wrong, but it is a tad weird.

Maybe they're just being efficient and checking for tennis elbow. :;):

 

[scout86]

I'm agreeing with it being weird, in my experience. (My experience is pretty limited, because I avoid doctors, and maybe that IS a good idea!)

When you think about it, YOU didn't DO anything to pick this person. She was the only one available, right? Maybe she was available because people find her technique to be weird and they avoid using her if they have a choice.

 

[VioletButterfly]

I have to say that when I first read your post yesterday, my body tightened up like a fist and I found myself holding my breath by the time I got to the end of it. I've been through a lot at the hands of doctors though. I feel like your response is totally appropriate and understandable. Maybe this could be an opportunity for you to think about boundaries that work for you when dealing with providers. I've found that I have to be my own advodate, to ask questions and express my concerns, and to say "stop" or "wait" when I feel the need. These are my rights and my responsibilities. It's difficult for me, but I keep trying.

FWIW, neither my GP nor my Endo have asked me to pull my top up or take it off in order to listen to my heart. It's been over a tee shirt or by sliding the stethascope just inside a blouse. My GP usually goes under my shirt/blouse in the back as well to slide the stethascope up to listen to my lungs, but that's it.

 

[Deanna]

:roflmao:

Ah! Stephanie Plum’s exploding cars!!!

(This will make a lot more sense if you’ve actually read the Stephanie Plum mysteries IE ‘the worst bounty hunter in the world’. Her car dies. In myriad ways, not just blowing up. Every book. Sometimes twice a book. 20 books in its become a clear gimmick, but in the beginning of the series it was done very subtly/cleverly, probably just one of those things that developed naturally and grew camp in time.)

The thing is? Yeah. It’s relatable. Because it seems like everyone, or at least most people, have their “weirdo thing” that just keeps happening to them over and over and over. For my mom? It’s the slow line at the grocery store. She is absolutely incapable of NOT being in the slow line. Sure, if she “chose” the slow line, it might fall back on her... but she can be in the fastest line, right up until all of her groceries are scanned... and then the register breaks!!! or the fire alarm goes off. Or the store is held up. No. f*cking. Lie. I’m not certain I have EVER -in over 30 years- seen her escape the grocery store line in under 20 minutes. Whether she’s shopping for 1 thing, or has 2 giant carts, she is goooooooing to be in line, until domesday. She just is. She finally succumbed to ORDERING groceries... and. They. Delivered. Them. To. The. Wrong. House. So she had to spend half an hour on the phone cancelling and resubmitting the order. With the online version of a “cashier”. Bwaaaaahahaha! OMFG. Mom! It’s your grocery curse! (I know. Zip it. Fast & convenient my fat aunt sally. In line at the store, on hold on the phone, same bad music :shifty: .)

I have a guy friend, meanwhile, who might go through a thousand shirts a year on bad years. He simply ruins them. Or, perhaps more accurately, they GET ruined. Now, the ones he pulls off without mindin the buttons (at least buttons can be sewn back on) or just grabbing the T too roughly and pulling? (Even though everyone else’s shirt couldn’t tear without a scissor start, his shred if you look at them funny)... Like my mom not paying attention to line speed, or luck of the draw with whatever doc is free... yeah. That’s setting the stage for Murphy to be AHA! I’ve GOT THIS. :smug: But the fact that if there’s an angry cat nearby, it will launch itself (and it’s claws) at Boyo’s shirt, a waiter with dropsy, the only mud puddle for miles, a faulty radiator, drunk stranger turning his head to puke, motor oil spray, kitchen spray, bird poop... I have seen this bloke change his shirt half a dozen times in a day... more days than I can count. Slashed, burned, ripped, stained, soaked, snag turns into rent, spilled ink, blood, mustard (from someone else’s hotdog)... Boyo’s shirt is going to jump on that grenade and save us all.

Everyone’s got their weirdo thing. Really. It’s not about something being wrong with YOU... it’s just how the universe gets its jolly’s.

That's too funny and very true! Hahaha!

 

[barefoot]

Ah! Stephanie Plum’s exploding cars!!!

Ah, thank goodness for Grandma’s Buick! :)

YOU didn't DO anything to pick this person. She was the only one available, right? Maybe she was available because people find her technique to be weird and they avoid using her if they have a choice.

Yes, that’s a good point. Thanks.

Maybe this could be an opportunity for you to think about boundaries that work for you when dealing with providers

I've found that I have to be my own advodate, to ask questions and express my concerns, and to say "stop" or "wait" when I feel the need

Yeah, this is something I work on with my therapist. Before big examinations/invasive procedures, I start prepping with her quite far in advance. I usually contact consultants or their secretaries beforehand to set some boundaries and ask for what I need etc.

That has worked fairly well - though often when I actually get there, info hasn’t been passed on or things that were agreed on the phone in advance then go out the window. So, the advance prep helps me manage my anxiety but, in reality, it doesn’t generally go as planned.

I still really struggle with self-advocating/setting boundaries/speaking up in the moment because I generally get triggered and freeze.

It just didn’t cross my mind to prep for a GP appt for dizziness and nausea...had no idea that would turn out to be quite tricky :(

 

[Ronin]

Sounds bit customary too...

Here gets people half naked pretty normally / they don't mean it as a harrassment or figure it could be an issue, just how the docs learned to do their job. Changing practices only slowly.

One of the myriad reasons I avoid docs. B/c they are not doing anything wrong, these... but I have extensive history with docs that were. And jumpiness in spades. And communication issues with providing info on well being to people I don't respect and/or trust.

 

[tacit]

Hi, i think your doing really well. On some level knowing that what you're feeling may not match what's happening ..& trusting it enough to ask the questions ..trusting yourself. I think is huge, especially given the contradictions that is PTSD, eg. your feelings being absolutely valid & yet PTSD is in & of itself an overreaction = Perspective: a valid overreaction.

On a practical level, someone put me onto cards/note that you can give doctors etc. that i kept in my purse. They just had a few lines, something to the effect that i am a person who has previosly experienced trauma & as a result find doctors' appts./procedures confronting. It asked for them to proceed slowly & if they could explain things as they went & before they did the next thing.

I think i only ever got the guts to actually hand it over once, but the change in the doctors demeaner was instant & the explaining of things changed the experience for me greatly. After that i was ok to (by ok i mean heart pounding, palms sweating, etc, etc) to just advise myself that i had experienced trauma & if we could just take it slowly & let me know what's happening as we go. It has been enough & seems to make a big difference.

Also, over the years i have had both male & female doctors ask me to raise my top, as well as those that haven't. I wonder if it's more of a personality thing? High visuals may prefer to see where they are putting the stethoscope, kenetics may rely on feel & audios might tend to listen for the right spot, etc.?

 

[blackemerald1]

Hey @barefoot :hug:

Later, when I told my partner about it and showed her how far up I'd had to lift my top, she looked shocked. Then she said, 'What is it with you? Why do you always get all the weirdo doctors?'
My T has also said before that I have a habit of finding unfortunate doctors.

^Neither of these people are helpful or indeed correct. Impying that somehow you are responsible is untrue and feeds your anxiety. So reject that notion. Like @Friday said, it's the Universe getting it's jollies.

Trying hard not to go down that path of 'So, what is it with me?! Why do I attract these people?! Why do they act this way with me?!'

^You don't attract them, you don't control them at all.

And also trying hard not to keep feeling furious with myself for always silently complying with doctors because I can't ever seem to stand up to them.

^I don't really see anything wrong with what she asked you to do. Plenty of doctors have wanted me to do that too. Depends on the way this doctor was trained, what she was listening for... heart and chest - in different places say different things.

It sounds like this doctor was trying to give you a thorough work up. Lots of doctors wave their stethoscope at your chest so quickly that they aren't actually listening to our heart and lungs in the way that is so very essential in a check up. They need to stop and really listen to do it properly, and too many of them don't.

^Yes. It was needed. I agree.

Sounds like you were roughed up. She

^Rubbish Grit. It was nothing of the sort.

because I just do as I’m told in situations like this even if I’m uncomfortable/want to pause/whatever.
And because it’s been 30 years...so it’s stupid to still be getting upset about this Kind of stuff.

^Most people do what they're told in these situations @barefoot even if they're uncomfortable.

. I know this is just about me being stupid.

^No, stupidity is not part of this.

it’s just how the universe gets its jolly’s.

^Absolutely agree.

checking for tennis elbow.

^Please go get a anatomy and phsyilogy book and check out the positions of heart, lung and elbows. I don't want you to be my doctor. :hilarious:

@barefoot - we all gamble with the quality of the doctor when we take that kind of appointment. You're right - she did nothing wrong but neither did you. I'm sure most doctors, especially one's that don't see us regularly, just see us as human beings rather than people.

Have you got a short phrase you can learn to make doctors pause before they do stuff? Not a long, historical record relating to your history but something short, sharp and sweet that will cause them to pause and perhaps ask you how'd you like to proceed with the examination. Practice that or ask your T to help you work out what it should be.

 

[Ronin]

@blackemerald1, the way I know @Neverthesame and read that post?

It was a joke. ;)
No double check of anatomy&physio books needed. The note wasn't meant to be taken seriously.

 

[blackemerald1]

It was a joke

@Ronin - thanks I knew that, I was playing on it. shrug.. did you see the hilarious emoji?

 

[Ronin]

Lmao. Yes. Saw the emoji, misread it anyway :facepalm:

I thought you're side eying Never, instead of just teasing back. I swear some days, imma grab better people reading glasses.

My apologies.