Does This Make Me a Selfish Person?

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I have that awful "need to please" syndrome. I don't want anyone angry with me, upset with me or have any type of problem with me. Must be sure everyone is alway happy and liking me.

I've displayed a lot of that too. Trying to make my mother feel better so she would be less likely to explode. I find myself doing it with other people too... always trying to make sure people feel good about themselves and don't feel bad things towards me. It got to be too much to handle at times.

 

[Auburngirl]

You're not alone. I cannot handle reading about other people's trauma unless it's in the briefest detail possible. I have to skip through it, or I dissociate.

I guess it could be seen as selfish, but it's also just avoiding things that make you sick.

 

[TLight]

Believe me, we have been taught how to please others over ourselves. I'm so good at making others comfortable and happy, and I seem to choose the ones who don't give anything back. Infantile love is what most people seem capable of.....But I"m choosing to believe there are people out there who really are capable to true, unselfish compassion. And I don't have to give up myself and my rights to get some of that compassion.

I don't think you are selfish at all. You have enough to deal with, let alone piling that on you.

I would take this from this forum what is helpful, inspiring and supportive, and (as they say in AA) leave the rest. No need to upset that little girl in you any more than she's already been upset.
I've read a lot of your postings, and if you're anything like me (more mature) your life has had enough of doubting yourself and your goodness.

You are good, probably more good than a lot of people.

 

[Grama-Herc]

TLight

More mature HA HA you made a funny! I'm old! Well maybe not old old, but old and yes I have been through the wringer too. But we do survive don't we? I sometimes wonder how.

Never thought about my ""little girl"" self. I guess she was told at some point in her life that she was selfish. Never thought about that side of it. Cuz I have always felt like I was a selfish person inside.

 

[jlm0402]

My best friend thought I was being selfish when I ended dinner early to go help other people. I understand that I can be selfish but I am not a self centred or bad person like she stated. I am always willing to help other people and am always supportive of her when she calls me names and other things. I have learned over the last 2 years that people are mean and that fending for yourself is the way life has to be lived sometimes... How do I deal with her?