Does This Sound Like Dissociation To You?

[Deleted member 1860]

Hi,
My therapist, well, EX-therapist was pretty insistent that I have a dissociation disorder. She made a spectrum and said on the low end is when you drive from point "A" to point "B" and you don't remember how you got there. It happens to everybody at some point in time. At the high end is full blown DID. She told me that I lie somewhere in between and have DDNOS, or dissociative disorder not otherwise specified.

The only problem with this "scenario" is that the worst of my so called "dissociation" episodes is exactly then! When I am driving in the car and don't know how I got from point "A" to point "B". Which happens to everyone, right?

I have gaps in my memory. HOWEVER, these gaps can all be attributed to being messed up on drugs at various points in my life. Yes, I have had problems with benzodiazepines in my past, but fortunately have gotten off them for good. My ex-therapist was insistent that these memory gaps (again, when I was on drugs), point to a DDNOS diagnosis. I don't buy it, because when I was in the psychiatric hospital, I was tested for dissociation many times, and the doctors concluded that I do NOT have a dissociation problem. The tests even said on them "remember only times when you were NOT under the influence of drugs or alcohol."

I also have a horrendous anger problem. When I get angry, my temper shoots sky high and I take it out on everybody else, including myself. It is during these times that my ex-therapist claimed I was dissociating. However, I remember fully these incidents, there is no memory loss at all. Rather, I think that I have an ANGER problem, and have just fallen prey to someone who is all to happy to pin a DDNOS diagnosis on someone rather than look at the whole picture.

What are your thoughts? Has anyone else had a dissociative disorder pinned on them when that wasn't what was going on at all?

Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments you have...

 

[clare]

Hi Scared,

I have had problems with dissociation, but only when triggered. I don't know if your ex-therapist was trauma-informed, but I would suggest you seek a second opinion with one who is. If you are doubtful about the diagnosis it likely that you will be unable to progress in more meaningful healing. Full committment to trauma therapy involves a great deal of trust, IMO. As you say, you do remember when your angry-for me I usually have no memory after an angry outburst, even 20 minutes later-it's just gone!

Hope you find more answers,

clare

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Hi Clare,
That's just it...My last therapist was trained in an inpatient trauma unit. I think she was a little too happy to pin a dissociative disorder on me.

Anyway, I am currently seeing a new therapist. She also worked in an inpatient trauma unit (a different one than my last therapist), and I told her all of my anger symptoms. She hasn't indicated to me that she thinks I have a dissociation problem. As far as I can tell, she thinks I have a rage problem. I didn't tell her what my last therapist diagnosed me with because I wanted her to make her own assessment.

 

[anni]

Hi Scared,

This is a little late so I won't be surprised if you miss it. I'm just checking around in dissociative threads at the moment because it's been an issue lately and was interested to hear what you said.

Yes, it did sound as if your therapist was a tad too happy to connect your dots, wow! Perhaps she was writing a paper or publishing something but I'd never heard of making a diagnosis along the lines she was suggesting.

At any rate, for what it's worth, stress, 'good' or bad, is 100 percent of the time what throws me into it. I have all the tools, and use them, especially when driving but sometimes absolutely nothing works and I'll still end up 4 exits too far on the interstate.

I've always thought these episodes were 'normal' for PTSD, and have never had a therapist go as far as suggest there would be another disorder involved. One would really hope that at least your ex-T isn't throwing this around to patients less self aware than you, and less to able challenge what sounds like a load of dishwater.

I hope things continue to go well with the new T, and take care,

Anni