Poll Does Your PTSD Affect Your Employment Status?

[tireddesertstormvet]

I know all to well

Gulp...I am employed full-time, but am presently on a short-term medical leave. I had a terrible bout of flu in January which seemed to open a door to severe depression and a resurgence of PTSD symptoms -- I haven't experienced this in seven years. One of my best friends, who has PTSD, is on permanent disability. She's encouraging me to take this route -- she knows me very well and we had a frank conversation last week about my terribly checkered work history (lots of absences due to illness/exhaustion; been fired four times; mediocre performance reviews; always too slow for the frenzied expectations at work...etc.). I am feeling like a useless waste of time because I'm beginning to wonder if I can work full-time...I'm 48 years old; have had one job or another since I was 17, and I am, for the first time, seeing my work history from the perspective of PTSD and its effects. To put it bluntly (and I hope it's OK to use the "f" word in this context), I feel like a total ****-up in the working world. My predominant feeling is of being overwhelmed and most of my energy goes into keeping my head together and not looking like the mess I am inside. I come home feeling utterly ragged and exhausted every day; I work in an environment that is very negative -- autocratic leadership; constant pressure to perform, etc. I would love to hear from anyone who struggles like this with full-time employment.

Hey,

I fully understand. I feel like hell most days myself. I work in an environment where I have a VP who micromanages. I spent ten years in the United States Army and have four degrees, to include a doctorate, so I don't feel I need such attention.

Civilians just do seem to respect veterans. Many days I just want to beat the hell out her out of frustration, but I think of my wife and kids. Many people have been saved because of them.

All I can see is just hang in there and know there are many of us dealing some of the same issues.

 

[tireddesertstormvet]

I chose full-time. Managers who do not care about their people or demonstrate any empathy can make life a living hell. I am tired, misunderstoond, and misused.

 

[trapped]

I've been going crazy lately because I haven't been able to work with my symptoms being as bad as they have been lately... but since I pay for everything on my own, I really NEED to work. I've always been good about saving up money, so that's made it possible for me to not work for the past while, but now I'm in a spot where money's tight and I'm really hurting and needing to find a new job. I volunteer in a research lab, and I had to send my adviser an email saying I couldn't come in for the next week. I am terrified to check my email, he responded and I'm terrified to open it and see what he said :( And that's just a volunteer thing! I get even more nervous with "real" jobs. My anxiety has been so high lately, that I'm having a hard time even going out to apply for the jobs.

It's hard, because on one hand I LOVE to work, and I get bored not working. I've always have worked full time and gone to school full time at the same time. This summer, I'm not taking any classes, and I don't have a job yet, and it's frustrating, since it's making me feel so lazy.

 

[Anton]

After the trauma I expected to be back at work in a week or so.
That was 4 months ago...
I now realise that it's a long term problem and that work isn't a priority but that I really need to focus on either recovery or learning to live with PTSD.
The day that happens I'll probably be working again.

Lucky for me social security is okay where I live, and though my income took a hit it's not as bad as I feared it would be.
My employer is very supportive and though my contract has expired I can return to work whenever I want.

I'm no longer afraid that I'll end up on the street, which is not only a great relief but also seems to lessen the PTSD symptoms.

If the PTSD doesn't go away I'll have to find a way to make money that doesn't trigger me.
I suppose that's possible. I don't think I want to vegetate when I'm done or giving up dealing with this affliction.

 

[LoveWins]

I havent held down a job for more than a month for the past 3 years unfortunately

 

[shadow-light]

I was declared "unfit for work" about a week ago... so erm... "resting" i guess...

 

[Noone.]

I work 48hrs a week as a firefighter in a busy district.

 

[PerfectEmpire]

I am a full time student. I hope to work full time once I am finished with my education.

 

[NarcSis]

I am currently "resting". I am still a FT paramedic. I also held a PT job and I was also a PT student for the past three years in addition to everything else but I have my second degree now. I think I deserve a little rest.

 

[blynn895]

work/I can relate

I can totally relate to your feelings/history! I'm on LTD right now and they're trying to "get me back to work" (not likely to happen soon). So I have just recently taken a look at my work history honestly and also see where my PTSD has affected this...missed time, lowered performance due to lack of concentration, a few stress leaves, trouble with relationships, authority, etc. It would take all I had to get through the day and with my memory/concentration issues it was really difficult to be an administrative assistant somedays.
I'm thinking about working part time at something low stress once I'm done with the trauma program I'm in until next summer (counselling and groups, its excellent). If I have to go on welfare because the insurance company cuts me off thats what I'll do because I've "coped" for 40 years with the PTSD and can't do it anymore (attempted suicide in 2007 and very nearly died, so its life or death to me). Admitting I have the problem and learning about PTSD has helped alot, hope to learn more from you good people.
Peace to everyone.
Brenda

 

[Ambience]

This has stopped me from being able to work, the intrusive thoughts are unbearable.

 

[Lionheart]

I have been disabled and out of work for over 12 years.