Does your t start late?

[lostforgottensoul]

My PDoc runs 45 mins or more late many times. But she isn't my therapist. She's basiclly just a script writer. She schedules people in 5 min interveals as she is just writing you your scripts, change it if needed, and on you go. I think she schedules a ton of people at the same time and we just sort of wait in line in the order of the schedule, not in the order in which you get there. Im always early for appointments so its common I wait 45 mins. Its been more before and its been right away before. But to ask if my therapist does that, no. But, yes, that is super annoyong and very upsetting. If i was going to wait 45 mins then I would rather get there 45 mins later.

 

[UnicornSightings]

It sucks there’s no set rule for everyone. Some are totally ok with 5 min late but how? That’s your time. Think of if you’re in therapy for 3 years. 5 min late weekly is 13 hours of your life!!! To just be looking at old magazines or pacing? God I could do so much cool stuff with 13 hour...

And even if you make that time up later, you still missed out on 5 min or more with your life. Geez imagine 45 min late each week and what you’d miss out on...

I thought I let this go but new people have posted lol!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

It sucks there’s no set rule for everyone. Some are totally ok with 5 min late but how? That’s your time. Think of if you’re in therapy for 3 years. 5 min late weekly is 13 hours of your life!!!

I look at it like this. I am booked for an hour but I am only paying for 45 mins. So I'm not going to balk over him being 8 mins late and ending session 5 mins early. I actually got more then 45 mins there.

ETA: My PDoc is another story. 45 mins is a long time to wait. That is upsetting. But she's not my therapist and wrote the scripts I needed. So, whatcha gonna do but wait and be upset?

 

[UnicornSightings]

I think I’ll just meditate while I wait. Then it’s not really wasted time.

 

[Stephernovas]

If you want to talk about wasted time then you are just going to have a negative spiral down the depression hole. Cause then, you're going to sit there are get upset about what made you need therapy in the first place and so on (speaking from experience).

 

[scout86]

Some are totally ok with 5 min late but how?

You kind of answered this yourself later on, LOL.

I can find plenty of ways to occupy myself. That said, my T has a weird schedule. He works weekends. The day I see him is, technically, a day off for me. I could be doing something else, true. I chose not to. I spend more time driving to and from appointments than I do waiting. Doesn't bother me, but I'm not surprised other people would feel differently. My own thought is that I refuse to be a slave to a clock. I know my T worries about being late and thinks it's rude, but I chose not to give him a bad time about it. Different people have different priorities. Nothing worrying with that that I can see.

 

[Sideways]

If you want to talk about wasted time then you are just going to have a negative spiral down the depression hole.

This.

I remember a psychologist once was talking to me about some of the stuff therapy required. She commented, “If you think you don’t have time for this? Ask yourself whether you have time to have ptsd.” She nailed it for me, and I’ve tried to stick with that attitude.

I don’t have time to dally around in waiting rooms. But I don’t have time to be as sick as I am either. PTSD doesn’t actually care how valuable my time is. Quite the opposite!

ETA That’s not me saying your time is unimportant. And if you have somewhere you need to be after your appointment, then communicate with your T about that. Talk to them about scheduling your appointment for a time where you can reliably walk out of the appointment, like at the start of the T’s day. But keep it in perspective. This T? May well be worth the occasional 3 minute wait. Certainly my recovery is worth an extra few minutes here and there if my T is doing a good job.

 

[EveHarrington]

I think with MUCH MUCH MUCH bigger fish to fry, getting upset over a few minutes is rather counterproductive.

Assertively state your opinion to your therapist, work toward a solution, and move on.

 

[flowerapple]

My T normally starts late and I can predict it, I guess its due to the person before. I just started coming later too and I found that I waited less, plus she normally makes up the time after because she normally goes over.

 

[Lionheart]

I once told my T that I was always arriving early and he always started late and that it was making me feel angry. I expected a big confrontation and argument to follow but instead he suggested I don't show up so early and he would try not to be so late. I was floored at how well he handled my anger and how he used compromise to settle the matter.

 

[DharmaGirl]

So being late is a trigger for you, and you are being triggered every time you go to therapy. No wonder you're upset! I used to joke with my T about bar time and therapy time. Where I live, therapist's either start on time and end 10 minutes before the hour, or start 10 minutes after the hour and go up to the time. In bars, they set the clock ahead 15 minutes so everyone is out by closing. I would ask your therapist what his policy is on timing. An hour appointment is always 50 minutes here, as far as I know. I usually discuss it on the first appointment. I also tell my T on the first visit that I will wait 15 minutes past the appointment time, then I will leave.