Relationship Don’t know what to do

[Jess p]

It’s been 8 weeks now since I have seen my boyfriend, the first 2 weeks he said he jus need space I then found out he was on a dating site when I asked him about it he first denied it and makes me apologise to him for even asking him about it , I then found out he was talking to girls on there , so messaged him with proof , he did not apologise but not my head off and blamed me for it saying I’m emotionally not there for him and cold , which is not the case he suffers from combat ptsd which he told me when wen first met but never really went in to detail, and has been the best boyfriend up till 8 weeks ago something just changed, I have asked him if he still wants to be with me , to which he says I do but I jus need time , I have to message him first otherwise we would never speak , in the 8 weeks he has messaged on his own accord maybe 4 times , I have told him if he wants me to leave him alone I’ll let him get on with his life and carry on with mine he says he can’t see me right now because he needs to be alone , but he has already lied once so I don’t know what to believe , 1 minuet he is being ok with me but then as soon as I mentioned meeting or seeing eachother he flips on me , he is saying he is suicidal and hasn’t left his house but I have found out that he has lied about that to , I really care about him and I want to help him but it killing me all the push and pull, i just don’t know if he is telling the truth or using his ptsd as an excuse, my friends all think I’m mad for even waiting around when I’m getting nothing back

 

[Sweetpea76]

Lying is not a symptom of PTSD. He is making the choice to lie to you. Would you excuse this treatment from somebody without PTSD?

 

[OrangeJulius]

Lying is not a symptom of PTSD. He is making the choice to lie to you. Would you excuse this treatment from somebody without PTSD?

THIS! PTSD also does not make you go on dating sites.

 

[Mytime]

I’m sorry your hurting. There’s a difference between needing space and going on dating sites and lying. Don’t let him make the decision to stay together or not. Move on, he’s disrespecting you in so many ways. You deserve better.

 

[Snowflakes]

i just don’t know if he is telling the truth or using his ptsd as an excuse,

PTSD is not an excuse to lie or cheat on you. Both are choices he makes; PTSD has nothing to do with it.

PTSD is not an excuse to mistreat or disrespect you. If his words are hurtful when he is symptomatic, then he can own them and apologize when he is not symptomatic.

I totally agree with what has been written before me here.

 

[EveHarrington]

I’m sorry you met a liar and a cheater who happens to have ptsd. You deserve so much better! Hugs.

 

[.xx]

I know it’s no excuse. He just switched everything around and said I made him do it, and that he jus wanted to talk to a stranger because I don’t listen. So I said join a group as I have done, not a dating site. He has deleted his profile on there now but I fink he might have already met someone on there. If he has I don’t see why he can’t jus tell me. I have gave him every opportunity to do so and I’d leave him alone one minuet he is ok with me and I feel like I’m getting somewhere with him and the next he’s nasty negative towards me , he still has a lot of my stuff at his flat and I said I’ll jus come and get my stuff and leave u to it , he says ok but then the day I’m supposed to go and get it he comes up with van excuse of he is bed Riddon becuz of his injury’s or he is in isolation

 

[Mytime]

The stuff at his flat, is it stuff you can just leave there and walk away. Because the truth is, if you don’t walk away he will keep treating you this way because you let him. If he really wants to be with you, he would do the work he needs to do to get you back. Like I said before, you walk away. Don’t leave the decision up to him. Sorry your hurting, sending a hug if you except.