Myself used to jump to person to person being needy as hell. I was "lucky" in a sense that I became homeless. I had nobody and had only myself with no money, family, or friends. I was living my greatest fear, and I couldn't afford my therapist anymore to talk out and work on methods for controlling myself better when I dissociate.
I'm not saying jump head first into your fears, but there is some truths about finding strength in trying to get through your fears.
I have horrible abandonment issues since I've raised myself since I was 8 but I am working on it.
My secret was to remind myself, with every "I"M GOING TO BE ALONE FOREVER AND I CAN"T BE ALONE WITH MY THOUGHTS AND I NEED TO CALL SOMEONE RIGHT NOW" that popped into my head and every dissociation that came with those thoughts as memories came back was that, "this is only passing. I will find someone to talk to later, right now I need to be okay with myself being with just myself. I can do that for an hour, and if I am still anxious, call someone to talk, but I will not let myself be so needy as to not get my work done and let it control my life. My name is ____, it is currently _____, and I am walking/(insert activity here) and this anxiety I feel is illogical to be feeling right now."
I'd love to say that that immediately fixes any issues, but it can help sometimes to remind yourself that feeling alone and fear of rejected can be a passing feeling and that you will talk with yourself about it later and that you are really far too busy right now to feel those feelings, as well as sometimes when a trigger arises, for myself, it is nice to remember that I am simply looking at clouds right now and crying about the past is an illogical feeling for looking at clouds. Sometimes I get a laugh from it and actually can pull myself together. Other-times, not as much.
I'm not saying jump head first into your fears, but there is some truths about finding strength in trying to get through your fears.
I have horrible abandonment issues since I've raised myself since I was 8 but I am working on it.
My secret was to remind myself, with every "I"M GOING TO BE ALONE FOREVER AND I CAN"T BE ALONE WITH MY THOUGHTS AND I NEED TO CALL SOMEONE RIGHT NOW" that popped into my head and every dissociation that came with those thoughts as memories came back was that, "this is only passing. I will find someone to talk to later, right now I need to be okay with myself being with just myself. I can do that for an hour, and if I am still anxious, call someone to talk, but I will not let myself be so needy as to not get my work done and let it control my life. My name is ____, it is currently _____, and I am walking/(insert activity here) and this anxiety I feel is illogical to be feeling right now."
I'd love to say that that immediately fixes any issues, but it can help sometimes to remind yourself that feeling alone and fear of rejected can be a passing feeling and that you will talk with yourself about it later and that you are really far too busy right now to feel those feelings, as well as sometimes when a trigger arises, for myself, it is nice to remember that I am simply looking at clouds right now and crying about the past is an illogical feeling for looking at clouds. Sometimes I get a laugh from it and actually can pull myself together. Other-times, not as much.
