I don't know if I have PTSD (well, not to the degree of everyone on here, at least) or not, but what I do know is you sound a lot like I have before, and the thing that helps me through it is to make it just through tonight.I tell myself that I'll make it just through tonight, and I keep telling myself that, and before I know it, I don't need to tell myself that anymore. It's much easier for the brain to understand small chunks of time than large ones, and usually when I start to struggle, it's because I've looked back at my entire past and my present, and can't imagine my future (or imagine the rest of my life being this way). You may need to make it just through the next 12 hours, or the next 1 hour, or whatever you may need to, but find a period of time you can get through, and just keep slogging through it- for me personally, it's "I made it through last night, I can make it one more night". Then the worst part is over, and I don't have to just make it through any more nights for a while, and I'm always stronger for surviving it. I also try to find some silver lining somewhere, anywhere, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem, even if it's just "I can look back and say I fought through that, and I won".
So will you be a stronger survivor- we all will.