Dont Know Why I Try Anymore

[Mallaky]

2. When someone tells us that we hurt them, we should acknowledge that they are hurt and not make the situation about us.

So important. So difficult sometimes.

3. We apologize and let the matter go and try not to wind ourselves into knots about how the other person rejected us when we were only trying to help. We recognize that intent never erases harm.

Same. And if those things seem too difficult, most of the time they are much easier after an hour or two. I had to curb my tendency to go into a wild typing spree, spreading hurt and blame, by developing my own ritual to get that one or two hour of distance. When the situation arrises I always force myself to play some games, which never fail to take my mind of the situation. Sometimes it feels like waking up, and I wonder what was going through my head. Sometimes, when still too difficult, I just have to remove myself from the situation. It is just so important to stay rational.

 

[Ava Jarvis]

So important. So difficult sometimes.



Same. And if those things seem too difficult, most of the ti...

[crossed out gabbling about myself]

Yep, it's so hard.

 

[Casey_03]

I think the real issue is that both parties opened up about a very sensitive topic and allowed themselves to be vulnerable .... and for both of them this backfired. One now feels punished for it, and the other dissed. I mean, I know that is stating the obvious, but it seems like everyone needs to take a breather and remind themselves that everyone on this forum is struggling in some way or another, so there will inevitably be clashes - and they shouldn't be taken personally.

 

[ladee]

And Admin is available to help work it out... utilize this if need be, before two people who NEED to be here, either leave or banned. I would hate to see that as we all need to be here and it is perfectly ok to not like someone.... Just hope everyone, myself included here, remember why we are here. To get help and to support.
I truly hope this gets worked out as we all have something to learn from this...

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@EveHarrington i didnt write this for you to feel guilty, I wrote this for me to talk it out with my peers which Im allowed to do just as you are.

Mod edit to remove reference to PC

Now ive respected you and not commented on your thread anymore or any of them, now respect me and do the same and let me work this out with my peers, thank you!

2. When someone tells us that we hurt them, we should acknowledge that they are hurt and not make the situation about us.

Which i would of done if i was told!

3. We apologize

Which I would have done also if I was given the chance to and did do later on but apparently wasnt accepted.

The true answer is to stop kidding myself to think that I could actually make a friendship that I hold dear, charish, and respect and to be given the ability to appologize when i make a mistake and given the chance to explain why i did/said something.

before two people who NEED to be here, either leave or banned.

Why would either of us be banned? I have a right to vent my hurt as does she, as long as we dont do it on the other's thread then i see no issue. Im not venting about her, im expressing my pain.

 

[Friday]

The truth is that I already asked for no OT talk in my thread. You continued to do that and even...

Aren't you doing exactly what you're complaining about? Taking someone else's thread, making it about you, and then (speaking of over the top reactions) creating a whole new thread to publicly chew them out?

All while the OP not only didn't call you out, to go so far as anonymizing the thread... but made the point numerous times that this is an issue in her own life that keeps repeating and is trying to find help breaking that pattern.

 

[Ava Jarvis]

@lostforgottensoul - my apologies for misunderstanding the situation.

 

[Casey_03]

I have to second @FridayJones here. I think there is a lot of overreacting all around just because the topic was so sensitive. Honestly, I think we have all sidetracked in other people's threads from time to time and gone off track -- I know I have seen the poster who complained about this do it in other people's threads. I know I have done it. I know most people here have done it before without really realizing what they were doing. Some people just aren't concise communicators. And it doesn't seem fair that one person can create a thread about this whole situation to vent, but then when the other one does it's an "over the top reaction."

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@FridayJones thank you. I do know this is about me and my issue and i also advised publically and privately that i accidently didnt check the anonymous box because i was replying fast while multi tasking did that by mistake but still appopogized if it made her feel exposed (even though I didnt advise whom the person was) i didnt name names/threads because this is 100% about me.

@Ava Jarvis its ok. I tried to type the orginal post as clear as i could but i was spinning so its easy to miss understand it.

@Casey_03 i fully agree that we have all said some small off topic things in a thread, it wasnt 100% off topic per sey, i dont like to just tell someone "i understand" as that seems hollow, how can you possiblly understand? However if i give brief info about myself on the topic of the thread; then to me, ive shown that i really do understand and "get it" but i again, just me. Thats how I support people.

 

[ladee]

Just a comment and concern .

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@ladee i appreciate all of your comments and concerns! :hug:

 

[shimmerz]

People are all f*cking alike in my world and Im done fighting.

Be careful of using the 'people are all' statements. I am a person and it really annoys me to be painted with a general brush as you are. It is offensive.