Down In The Dumps And Can't Explain Why

[snappy_turtle]

I should be happy that my supporter/boyfriend is coming back to town tomorrow evening. He's been out of town on a business trip since Tuesday morning this week and that was only a day after the whole crap happened with his roommate/my trigger.

It's not that I'm avoiding his return, I'm just feeling apathetic about it, and kind of dreading having to step back into that house when he's back.

I'm at work and can't seem to figure out why I'm in the dumps today. Nothing's happened, nothing's changed. I'm still the same person, yet today I'm very quiet and spacey in my own head. My supervisor said he worries when he sees me just sitting quietly for hours at a time staring at our robots run their functions. He doesn't know about my ptsd or any of this sort of stuff. Kind of startles you when someone else who doesn't know about your past tell you they're concerned about you because you're exhibiting depressed behavior.

I don't have the energy to go out tonight or go do anything yet I know it's something I should consider doing since it is the quickest way to get out of a funk. Is there anything wrong with just staying indoors, ordering pizza and watching a movie by myself to get me out of a funk? Or will it just make it worse? I haven't done anything this week other than go to work and come home watch netflix and go to sleep with the occasional reading before bed.
The part that bothers me is that I'm not sure why I'm down in the dumps today when nothing has changed.

 

[a3a2]

No, I don't think there is anything wrong with sataying in and eating pizza and watching a movie. I think it sounds WONDERFUL!!!! It is okay to feel apathetic about your boy friend's return. You may even find you feel differently once he does return, and that will give you an indication of how your future with him is going to go. I wish you well with it all.

 

[snappy_turtle]

I ended up staying in and doing just that. At around 11pm last night my boyfriend called me to tell me how much he loves me and that I'm the only one he thinks and cares about this way. I went to bed crying feeling like I didn't deserve how great he is to me. I can't get myself out of bed today. I'm tired of waking up every morning.