Sexual Assault Drugged And Raped

[Sandi]

I finally saw a therapist today after many years of repressed memories. It was my first session and we focused on a memory that recently came into light (which pushed me to meet her).

It was a very pleasant meeting because she gave me some clarity to what happened the night I was suppose to go out to see a band play with my former boss, who at the time I saw as a good friend.

I remembered that I got there with a friend and him and his friend pushed us to drink. Then his friend kept pushing me toward him. I barely drank and all the sudden I blacked out. I only remember having all of my clothes taken off and him on top of me. I remember he looked so gross, but felt so good. I remember asking him to spit on my face because I wanted to feel even more degraded and I remember that I came.

I blacked out again and it was all the sudden 5 am when I awoke. I'm still working through this, but my therapist said its ok it was just my body's way of protecting me. I read that before, but it still brings me great comfort.

I hate that people abuse others, but for all the suffers I hope you find the strength to move on. I don't think abusers should be able to abuse and own you for the rest of your life. I'm not there yet, but I feel like I'm moving in a step toward the right direction.

 

[mamachick]

Sandi-I am glad that you were able to meet and talk to a therapist about this since you recently remembered. I am glad she was able to help you to realize that this is not your fault and not feel guilty. I don't think abusers have the power in themselves to own their victims, only we can take that power back. Good for you for taking the path toward taking your power back.

 

[Sandi]

Thank you. It's a really hard step, but ultimately I think taking that power and control back is exactly what we need to do. It helps so much.