Drugs!

[Spec.K]

Allow me to introduce myself as Special K. I'm not on this site because I like to spend hours talking to others about their insecurities, it just isn't my thing. Don't let that offset you. I'm a really easy going person, friendly and love to help. The reason I'm on this site is because I am fascinated by chemical disturbances - you know, how certain things can really make you tick? A pet peeve to a traumatic life changing experience, there's chemical substance behind emotion. We can force our brains to repress, or we can force our brains to turn on ourselves. There is a hell in each of our minds it seems, but if there is as much good as there is evil then I think we are capable of so much, through soul and body.

Me in a nutshell - procrastinatin, masturbatin, guitar playin, player hatin game lovin gal.
My life is average. I get that high. when i drink, fml. I'm eighteen just graduated, thicker and thinner through it all loved and dated, eating dweebs for dinner, and listening to the tick tock of my time losing to winners. Post traumatic stress disorder ain't nothing but a disorder.

 

[amethist]

Hi Spec.K

Welcome to the forum

I am curious to whether you Have PTSD or as you say, you are here "Because you are fascinated by chemical disturbances".

PTSD is caused by trauma, maybe sharing more information of your own, would help others understand your introduction post better.

Take care

Amethist.

 

[Spec.K]

Haha yeah I should have probably specified that. Well it's not like I think about it all the time, but there are definitely signs of post traumatic stress disorder.

A two year relationship that ended in all sorts of different kinds of abuse 8 months ago, that had started when I was too young to understand that I was being wrapped around his finger, is probably the sole cause. I was manipulated, I was turned against friends and family, I was used. In return, I have memories of his psychotic breakdowns and risking almost everything just to be with him. Sometimes I want to take the blame for his actions - and that's the part where I remember that I was in it just as much as he was.

There were a lot of experiences with drugs and isolating myself from everything that as of now, has a damaging impact on my outlook of having friends and being realistic. Not to mention, black outs, physical fights, dealing with him threatening to kill himself when he was depressed after an mdma binge in which I warned him not to do. I loved him for his personality - but he had terrible manners and used everyone for his own benefit as I stood by and watched it all happen. To sum it up, I have PSTD from a very traumatic relationship. The hard part is knowing whether I was stable then or not.

<Un-necessary quote removed and paragraph breaks inserted by Amethist>

 

[amethist]

So have you a diagnosis by a professional, which is the only way to know for definite, or are you just guessing.

I ask as you say there are definite signs of PTSD, then you say you have PTSD. Self diagnosis is not an option, a professional is the only way to go, probably followed by the offer of therapy and maybe prescribed medication.

 

[Spec.K]

I've never seen a therapist or a psychiatrist - I'm not asking for a diagnosis and medication. I'm not saying I'm giving a self-diagnosis, but I can say from experience that those symptoms persisted in my daily life. My anxiety and stress levels are not nearly as bad as they used to be. But I know that the trauma of this relationship still persists - very well identified as symptoms of PSTD. I don't think it's necessary that in order to be qualified for this forum I have to be diagnosed by a professional.
I stated my reasons that I'm here. I'm a people watcher for the reason that I want to see what makes us the way we are - I'm motivated to help people and talk things out, as much as I would hope that others would feel the same for me.

 

[missd84]

Spec K, I would definitely seek out some professional help. PTSD symptoms can sometimes be confused with other disorders to someone who is not trained in the field. Until you get help, you won't know what it is that is causing the symptoms for sure, and they will likely get worse.

 

[Gamereign555]

I don't get it.

 

[Spec.K]

The symptoms I have are from a traumatic relationship of domestic, physical, and many other sorts of abuse. I understand that if I want to have a thorough diagnosis I should seek professional help. I simply came onto this site because there was one thread I spotted that reminded me of myself at a confusing time in my life, so I posted the advice I got from my experience. I just came here because it felt right to me.

 

[Gamereign555]

Glad you found the forums here, Welcome.