Long story short,
my partner and I have been together for approximately one year. Prior to our relationship, I had a history of trauma and negative relationships that I worked really hard to get past and I work daily to maintain my emotional health. Last year, I had to undergo spinal emergency surgery which left me in a great deal of constant pain. This happened shortly after my partner and I started seeing each other . Most people would have ran, but he's been unbelievably supportive.
The issue now lies with this:: about 2 months ago, my partner was put in an position where he had to defend himself. In doing so, he witnessed a man being shot by law enforcement. Since then, he's been distant and claims that he feels smothered even when we barely see one another. Last week, he made up an elaborate lie about where he was going . I figured it out and we've been trying to come to a resolution. When I got past my anger, it hit me like a ton a bricks that he is struggling . I was angry because I thought he was cheating, for all I know he was ...but I don't think so. I work around trauma victims but I didn't make the connection. He wakes up in cold sweats, he barely sleeps or sleeps all day, he wants me near but doesn't, etc. Tonight, I asked him to prove what he said he was doing really occurred last week. He didn't . We talked about everything and he agreed to get counseling . I told him his isolating attitude is bringing up triggers of my own. I want him to go but I want him to stay. He is cycling the same. The difference is that if we do end up separating , I don't think I can be friends and he's begging me to be.
Is there anyone, through therapy or interventions or advice, that anyone sees us having a healthy relationship again in the future? He really is my best friend. Even when he isolates himself, he's still supportive. I just don't want us to end up destroying one another and I'm afraid that I'll always feel suspicious .
my partner and I have been together for approximately one year. Prior to our relationship, I had a history of trauma and negative relationships that I worked really hard to get past and I work daily to maintain my emotional health. Last year, I had to undergo spinal emergency surgery which left me in a great deal of constant pain. This happened shortly after my partner and I started seeing each other . Most people would have ran, but he's been unbelievably supportive.
The issue now lies with this:: about 2 months ago, my partner was put in an position where he had to defend himself. In doing so, he witnessed a man being shot by law enforcement. Since then, he's been distant and claims that he feels smothered even when we barely see one another. Last week, he made up an elaborate lie about where he was going . I figured it out and we've been trying to come to a resolution. When I got past my anger, it hit me like a ton a bricks that he is struggling . I was angry because I thought he was cheating, for all I know he was ...but I don't think so. I work around trauma victims but I didn't make the connection. He wakes up in cold sweats, he barely sleeps or sleeps all day, he wants me near but doesn't, etc. Tonight, I asked him to prove what he said he was doing really occurred last week. He didn't . We talked about everything and he agreed to get counseling . I told him his isolating attitude is bringing up triggers of my own. I want him to go but I want him to stay. He is cycling the same. The difference is that if we do end up separating , I don't think I can be friends and he's begging me to be.
Is there anyone, through therapy or interventions or advice, that anyone sees us having a healthy relationship again in the future? He really is my best friend. Even when he isolates himself, he's still supportive. I just don't want us to end up destroying one another and I'm afraid that I'll always feel suspicious .
