Early Termination Of Therapy: Therapist Retiring Prematurely. My Anguish.

[Deleted member 33880]

I have had 24 hrs of train wreck state. Now I am steadying out a bit. I am strangely remembering how he loves me and so he is going to make sure that this is okay. He can't make this bit okay because he is still an employee of the NHS but that is about to end and he will find a way to write to me and explain and I bet we will meet up some day. I am remembering how much he cares about me and so then I start trusting that it will be okay. I will not have him as my therapist but he will make sure the ending is as good as he can do. He must be overwhelmed right now with family stuff and god alone knows what. I hope I keep feeling this steady. I just had some acupuncture. that helped.

 

[Deleted member 33880]

I just re read this thread and was shocked to see how the impending train crash was bearing down on me and I didn't see it.
I last saw him 9 weeks ago. That session I reported was my last. I didn't know that.
It turns out he decided to bail out.
He has asked me never to contact him and that he knows this will be hard for me but that is how it has to be.

I feel so abandoned it is ridiculous. I don't get how therapists can do this and f*ck up and walk away.

 

[DharmaGirl]

Neither do I. I am still having nightmares about mine and that was 2 years ago. I think I finally have one that I can work with, and one of the first things I talked about was him keeping his boundaries intact. The last thing mine said to me was, "It's not like you'll never see me again." I hope now I never do. I don't want those feelings to be brought forward again.

 

[Suzetig]

I'm not sure he's bailed out tonne honest, I think it's more likely he's been forced to pull out either because he realises what's happened here or his employers have and have ended his contract with them. You'll not likely find out which but if he's not employed by them he can't have contact with you although I know he said he could.

Please don't blame yourself for not seeing it coming - how could you. When we're in the middle of something so unboundaried it can be hard to see it, because we want to believe it's all ok so badly. Think about how you can give yourself closure - do you need to complain to his employer, his registering body or some such to allow yourself to move on? I know from the other thread you have someone advocating for ending sessions but experience tells me the answer to hurtful therapy isn't generally more contact with the therapist it went wrong with.

You'll need to pull on the adult, competent parts of you to help you find a way through - and to soothe the younger parts of you that have been so upset here. I hope you can find a way through this but I know it's hard to feel betrayed by someone you trusted.

 

[Deleted member 33880]

Thansk Suzetig
I am going to complain to his professional bodies.
I hate how I have been labelled as difficult when it was HIS job to handle the boundaries and therapies, they always end up blaming the client.
I actually don't want to see him - I would only shout and him and try to tear him to bits verbally, understandably.
He treated me like a nobody in the end.
"goodbye, go away, don't contact me, I f*cked up - I damaged you but leave me alone"

 

[DharmaGirl]

I'm so sorry.