MVA Easily Angered?

[LoveIsLouder]

I was in a bad car accident a couple of weeks ago. Went straight into therapy and was diagnosed with PTSD because of said accident. Aside from the repetitive thoughts of the accident (which have gotten better), along with the anxiety, I've now noticed I have so much pent up anger against a lot of things that previously were annoyances in my life. If someone tells me to do something that I don't want to do, or they make a mistake that impacts my work, instead of letting it go like I used to, I now feel like screaming and punching every wall around me.

I never used to get this angry over things. Usually I could keep my thoughts to myself, without having this urge to want to be physical or confrontational. But now, I feel like my heart keeps constantly racing and I can't calm myself fully. I plan to bring it up with my therapist next session, but for now, I don't know what to do. I've tried distracting myself with things I enjoy. Movies, games, etc. But I feel like they're not doing what they normally do. I understand coping takes time, but I'm afraid I'm going to lash out at someone who doesn't deserve it. At all. I'm seriously contemplating taking time off work, just so I don't get more upset with people.

What can I do?

 

[BlueOrange]

Try thinking about something sad when you want to put the brakes on. It can also be really useful to say the words "I feel really angry" - this helps you feel like you did something about the feeling, without having to be physical about it.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

Maybe you need to find some new strategies to help you release the anger and not just distract from it. It might sound silly, but sometimes when I have a lot of anger, I take a crayon and some paper and I color as hard as I can. I do that until I can begin to ease up and transition to coloring very lightly and calmly. It sometimes takes a few sheets of paper. Also, I have ripped up phone books or magazines to release some of that tension. I also play with my kids' basketball hoop (one of those PlaySkool ones), but it works. These were all things I had never done before, but my therapist helped me to figure out worked.

 

[LoveIsLouder]

Maybe you need to find some new strategies to help you release the anger and not just dist...

The coloring is such a brilliant idea. I will definitely talk to my therapist about strategies like this. Thank you!

 

[twodogcircus]

I know some people find it helpful to state how they feel (like "I'm feeling very angry" or "I'm getting upset about X and Y" like BlueOrange mentioned) but I'm very uncomfortable being honest about how I feel (I'm a nightmare talk therapy).

I do also find coloring helpful. But I prefer doing very intricate coloring with pigment pens. Johanna Basford coloring books are intricate and beautiful and require me to focus on steadying my hands which shake and tingle when I'm overcome with anger. Successfully controlling my anger is comforting to me.

That being said, there are times when I'm so angry I'm unable to reign myself in and I do need a physical outlet for that anger. The best and most discreet physical outlet I've found is chewing on something. Hard. I have a rubber mouthguard that I wear when I play hockey and chewing on that mouthguard as hard as I can, really grinding the heck out of it with my teeth, helps me vent my anger without destroying anything, yelling at anyone or even drawing any attention to myself. I do destroy mouthguards at an alarming rate but they're pretty inexpensive and it's worth it to me.

 

[blues29]

Hello,
My son and I both have PTSD. My son is 20 years old and he just got his first car last month. It was absolutely beautiful and it was the first thing that made him happy in a long time. He was on his way over to visit a friend when he was t-boned by a guy in a Tesla, and it completely totaled his car. He only had it less than 1 month. Since then, he has felt totally disconnected and has behaved very much like he is severely depressed. It has been about a month now since the accident. He has suffered anger problems most of his life due to emotional trauma from a homeless situation we were in years ago and he was taken from me and put in foster care for a year and a half. He was emotionally traumatized over the whole ordeal and has never gotten over it. I have begged him to seek therapy but he refuses. He demands a lot from everyone and will not communicate with his friends or me when he is upset. He just got mad at one of his only friends this week and has been brewing over it all week. It is because his friend is always late after making plans with him. He had an anger meltdown tonight and the neighbor called the police. We had already left the house when the police called me about it. Talking to my son, he said ever since the accident, he has felt disconnected and he just feels like a loser. I think the accident triggered feelings of anger, sadness, and helplessness, and I don't know what to do. I already have my own issues related to PTSD, and he thinks I don't care. Really, I hardly have anything left to give of myself, not to mention he is not open to any suggestions I have. He thinks no one can help him and that he should be able to help himself. I have never been more depressed. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get him to seek some therapy? Tonight he almost agreed, but he said he would not go alone. I feel like it will only get worse if we don't do something....

 

[Suzetig]

Am I right in thinking it's less than a month since the accident? It sounds like he's having a really normal response to trauma and may just need time to let things settle.

You said he has ptsd, was that diagnosed before the accident in relation to a different trauma? Could that be impacting on how he's coping with the accident. If he doesn't want to go to therapy you forcing him won't make a difference, even if he does go it's likely he wouldn't do the work needed. You may need to think about what you're prepared to accept from him in terms of behaviour and set boundaries for yourself and him, but you can't force him to accept help if he doesn't see it himself.

 

[BlueOrange]

Tonight he almost agreed, but he said he would not go alone.

Is it possible for you to go with him? Is there someone else who can do that?

Encouraging people to go into therapy can be tricky (as you know). If there is Mental Health First Aid training near you, then it's essentially a two-day course in 'how to gently suggest to someone that they should seek therapy'.