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Eliminating my abuser will help me

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You might ruin your life, ruin your job, end up in a cell or hospital for 72 hours or more.

I realize that the hotline is dangerous that way. I realized that if I ever requested the Crisis Mobil team I would probably be taken to the hospital or jail. I can’t let it get that bad. I won’t. I know how and why to settle myself.

Or, make sure you know how to talk to a hotline, safely

Thank you. I did make sure to emphasize that I had no weapon and that I did not have a plan, but what I realized from @Freida was that if I call again I need to specifically say that I do not *want* to do it. I realize I was skating on thin ice with respect to having my freedom taken away. I feel it more now. Because I did have it taken away before, when I didn’t have kids. And if it happened now it would be way more complex and retraumatize me and them.

They’re just flashbacks. They are. And I can get through them and when they are over I’m further away from them than ever before. And I’m getting better at saying my story and asking for help with my needs.
 
I realize that the hotline is dangerous that way. I realized that if I ever requested the Crisis Mobil team I would probably be taken to the hospital or jail. I can’t let it get that bad. I won’t. I know how and why to settle myself.
You have to be a credible danger to yourself or others before they will scoop you up and take you as an involuntary. But it is a good reminder to ask for help long before it gets that bad.

The next time you talk to the hotline you can ask how the crisis mobile works and what the parameters are if they come out. (Yes- you can ask those kinds of questions :) ). I have a friend who uses them a couple times a year. She likes them because it's someone who has a lot of time to just sit and visit with her until the crisis passes and that they can give her all the latest resources. They like it because they can see for themselves if her environment is safe for her, or if she is being abused, or has overdosed or has no heat, that kind of thing. So it's kind of a win/win for both
 
it is a good reminder to ask for help long before it gets that bad.

The next time you talk to the hotline you can ask how the crisis mobile works and what the parameters are if they come out. (Yes- you can ask those kinds of questions :)

Thank you Freida. That’s comforting to hear that asking about the parameters of crisis mobile is acceptable and that them coming out does not necessarily equal me getting involuntary commitment. When I was involuntarily committed I had driven myself to the hospital to talk about the symptoms. I think it was my lack of any support team, and lack of desire to stop myself, that made them decide to do the intake. Anyway, I WAS desperate and it’s okay that I stayed the weekend. It just would be different now and I’m a lot more aware of how to care for myself, I have way more support and resources and I know how to talk about obtaining resources, even though it is admittedly difficult, I can do it when needed. A good reminder to ask for support before it gets that bad, yes.
 
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