Games are dangerous
I recently broke-up with a man I moved into my house after a few weeks of really hitting it off. He had really needed a place to live, so I told him we'd try it for awhile and he could always get a place of his own.
I also made it clear to him what I wanted and needed in a relationship. I went through the list, which included 'financially stable' and 'able to provide, if needed.' I was having a very difficult time working. I'm a biologist and want desparately to move forward in my career, but keep running up against a-hole bosses who mistreat me.
I'd also just started therapy and told him right up front what I was working on and that I'd had an attempt only months previously.
Anyway, Long story short, after two years of me being the only one working, plus taking care of him through 6 months of chemo and him promising me I now had a 'family.' I finally was being triggered so much because my cop father never worked, I told him that's what was happening and when my raging couldn't be contained, no matter how hard I tried, I'd call him a 'Mamma's boy, and claim that he had no committment to me like I had to him" We were living in a tiny one room cabin. He's spend all day pondering and perhaps do the laundry, while I worked with an a-hole all day.........totally reigniting my symptoms.
Anyway, he's gone now, but is the only person who can testify at my SSD hearing. He said he's too busy and would 'send an affidavit.' Also, he's telling his whole family what a b*ch I am and what I 'put him through.' He is so co-dependent with his mother. She sent him 12 grand and he spent the whole thing.
This happens to me over and over. I pick men like my Father. I've wasted 42 years doing this and the stress has damaged me physically and the ptsd is getting more worse. Without my T, I'd have blamed the whole thing on me again.
I'm so disappointed in how cruel people who use the word 'love' can be. He told me to "go to hell the other night when I pointed out how full of selfishness he is." I had an attempt because in the middle of a flashback, he screamed at me "I'm so sick of your self pity." I nearly died.
Anyway, Anthony.....women can be hurting badly, and the truth, I want to call him back, write e-mails to his mom, etc. etc. in an attempt to undo a wrong that almost killed me.
But this doesn't justify what you X is doing with your kids. I've been through this crap over and over and may call and try to make the person miserable for a few weeks, but it's just because the pain is so overwhelming. But never would I ever involve children.
When she calls, whatever she says, just say "I know it hurts and I'm sorry you hurt." Then hang up. Perhaps that's all she needs to hear and the chaos may end.
I recently broke-up with a man I moved into my house after a few weeks of really hitting it off. He had really needed a place to live, so I told him we'd try it for awhile and he could always get a place of his own.
I also made it clear to him what I wanted and needed in a relationship. I went through the list, which included 'financially stable' and 'able to provide, if needed.' I was having a very difficult time working. I'm a biologist and want desparately to move forward in my career, but keep running up against a-hole bosses who mistreat me.
I'd also just started therapy and told him right up front what I was working on and that I'd had an attempt only months previously.
Anyway, Long story short, after two years of me being the only one working, plus taking care of him through 6 months of chemo and him promising me I now had a 'family.' I finally was being triggered so much because my cop father never worked, I told him that's what was happening and when my raging couldn't be contained, no matter how hard I tried, I'd call him a 'Mamma's boy, and claim that he had no committment to me like I had to him" We were living in a tiny one room cabin. He's spend all day pondering and perhaps do the laundry, while I worked with an a-hole all day.........totally reigniting my symptoms.
Anyway, he's gone now, but is the only person who can testify at my SSD hearing. He said he's too busy and would 'send an affidavit.' Also, he's telling his whole family what a b*ch I am and what I 'put him through.' He is so co-dependent with his mother. She sent him 12 grand and he spent the whole thing.
This happens to me over and over. I pick men like my Father. I've wasted 42 years doing this and the stress has damaged me physically and the ptsd is getting more worse. Without my T, I'd have blamed the whole thing on me again.
I'm so disappointed in how cruel people who use the word 'love' can be. He told me to "go to hell the other night when I pointed out how full of selfishness he is." I had an attempt because in the middle of a flashback, he screamed at me "I'm so sick of your self pity." I nearly died.
Anyway, Anthony.....women can be hurting badly, and the truth, I want to call him back, write e-mails to his mom, etc. etc. in an attempt to undo a wrong that almost killed me.
But this doesn't justify what you X is doing with your kids. I've been through this crap over and over and may call and try to make the person miserable for a few weeks, but it's just because the pain is so overwhelming. But never would I ever involve children.
When she calls, whatever she says, just say "I know it hurts and I'm sorry you hurt." Then hang up. Perhaps that's all she needs to hear and the chaos may end.
