Emotional dissociation

[FauxLiz]

During my recent hospitalization I was diagnosed (informed) that I experience continuous emotional dissociation. I never thought about this type of thing I have just always known that I don't feel things like others do.

Due to my abrupt discharge (thank you insurance) my treatment team and I didn't have time to address this in any significant manner. I am wondering if there is anyone else here that experiences this and if you have any suggestions for resources.

 

[scout86]

Did they explain what they meant by that? Is it the same or similar as being out of touch with your emotions, numbing, that kind of thing?

 

[FauxLiz]

It was explained that it is similar to emotional numbing or blunting but more intense. I know that emotions exist, I can state categorically that I love my children, I know and can feel anger but usually it is long after others become angry. But happy, sad, and other emotions I can fake but I don't feel them in my body I can't describe them I just know when I am supposed to feel what.

 

[scout86]

My T told me some time ago that he thought I had something called "alexithymia". (I think I spelled that right.) It might be the same basic thing. There's some information about it online, but I didn't find anything that was really useful, as far as what to do about it. He actually assigned watching "Inside Out" as a homework assignment. (Fascinating movie!) From what he's said, having "feelings" never did me much good, so I kind of learned not to have them. Or to ignore them. Or something. I can see how that might be similar to dissociating.

 

[FauxLiz]

Interesting homework, we actually watched that as a group when I was inpatient. The way your t described it is similar to another conversation I had with my inpatient t. I was told that as I process my traumas it will become easier to experience emotions I just don't know.

 

[scout86]

I just don't know.

I have moments when I'm not sure I want to, you know?

 

[FauxLiz]

@scout86 I completely understand. I am terrified I would be overwhelmed if I started feeling emotions again.

 

[scout86]

again.

Yeah! For me, I don't actually remember a time when I did feel them like "normal" people so it's a little hard to know what to think. On the plus side, your brain seems to do it's best to not let you notice enough to get you in TOO much trouble, so I keep telling myself it will be ok. LOL