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Sorry, you asked the question in a way that suggested you did. Do you think compassion/empathy = weakness?
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Poll Empathy/compassion - How Much Do You Have & Why?
- Post starter Abstract
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rainy_daze
Diamond Member
@bell that's a great wee video. I do the "at least" thing sometimes, probably when I'm not in a good enough place to listen to someone properly. There's a clear difference between empathy and sympathy, and the video shows that very well.
[Edit: it's interesting that most people have chosen the too much empathy choice]
[Edit: it's interesting that most people have chosen the too much empathy choice]
I can't agree with the video.
em + pathy = "in" + "feeling" = you have the same feeling
sym + pathy = "together" + "feeling" = you let the person share their feeling with you
I can empathise with someone else who has been abused in childhood because I was abused in childhood. I can only sympathise with someone who has cancer because I have never had cancer.
Sympathy isn't associated with saying "at least" - that's dismissiveness or minimisation.
The difference would be more like: With empathy you would say, "I know" or "I can relate". With sympathy you would say, "I'm so sorry for what you're going through".
em + pathy = "in" + "feeling" = you have the same feeling
sym + pathy = "together" + "feeling" = you let the person share their feeling with you
I can empathise with someone else who has been abused in childhood because I was abused in childhood. I can only sympathise with someone who has cancer because I have never had cancer.
Sympathy isn't associated with saying "at least" - that's dismissiveness or minimisation.
The difference would be more like: With empathy you would say, "I know" or "I can relate". With sympathy you would say, "I'm so sorry for what you're going through".
rainy_daze
Diamond Member
I was wondering if "too much" empathy/compassion is to do with emotional regulation and boundaries (for example, not being very good with either). I will think more about this.
Empathy: "the ability to understand and share the feelings of another"
Sympathy: "feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune" or "understanding between people; common feeling".
I think empathy is a much deeper understanding than sympathy. If you're listening to someone tell you they have cancer, and you can see their situation from their point of view and can feel what they feel, then you empathise. If you're listening to someone tell you they have cancer, and you feel bad or sorry for them, then you sympathise. That to me is the difference. Empathy is about being able to recognise, feel and understand the feelings of someone else. There's understanding in sympathy, but in my opinion that comes more from the person's own point of view, as opposed to really being there with a person in their feelings. I think that's why "at least" might come up in conversations, as the person sees the situation sympathetically, but comes up with their own point of view, rather than simply listening to the person sharing.
I don't think I only empathise with similar things I have gone through myself, although I get your point @Hashi . It made me wonder how difficult therapy would be if I thought my counsellor didn't empathise (understand what I feel and be able to feel the emotion coming from me, and reflect it back). My counsellor hasn't been through the things I have.
[Edit: @Hashi , do you think the word relate and the word empathy are the same? To use your example again, I relate to those who have experienced similar things to me, but I don't relate to those who have experienced things I haven't? This is because I have felt what it is like to have experienced X and therefore I do know what that is like, but I have never experienced Y, and so cannot know or feel what that is like.
You've got me thinking as usual Hashi :)]
Empathy: "the ability to understand and share the feelings of another"
Sympathy: "feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune" or "understanding between people; common feeling".
I think empathy is a much deeper understanding than sympathy. If you're listening to someone tell you they have cancer, and you can see their situation from their point of view and can feel what they feel, then you empathise. If you're listening to someone tell you they have cancer, and you feel bad or sorry for them, then you sympathise. That to me is the difference. Empathy is about being able to recognise, feel and understand the feelings of someone else. There's understanding in sympathy, but in my opinion that comes more from the person's own point of view, as opposed to really being there with a person in their feelings. I think that's why "at least" might come up in conversations, as the person sees the situation sympathetically, but comes up with their own point of view, rather than simply listening to the person sharing.
I don't think I only empathise with similar things I have gone through myself, although I get your point @Hashi . It made me wonder how difficult therapy would be if I thought my counsellor didn't empathise (understand what I feel and be able to feel the emotion coming from me, and reflect it back). My counsellor hasn't been through the things I have.
[Edit: @Hashi , do you think the word relate and the word empathy are the same? To use your example again, I relate to those who have experienced similar things to me, but I don't relate to those who have experienced things I haven't? This is because I have felt what it is like to have experienced X and therefore I do know what that is like, but I have never experienced Y, and so cannot know or feel what that is like.
You've got me thinking as usual Hashi :)]
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precious-things
New Here
The results of this poll are unsurprising to me. People who are very sensitive tend to be more empathetic, but also more prone to something like PTSD. The correlation makes sense.
This is a great discussion! If I had found it earlier, I would have joined in rather than starting a new thread on Are You an Empath!
I am particularly interested in the distinction between empathy and projection. I might add that as another discussion point on the new thread as this one seemed to end a while back...
Oh, wait. Computer weirdness. Suddenly two new posts came up.
I am particularly interested in the distinction between empathy and projection. I might add that as another discussion point on the new thread as this one seemed to end a while back...
Oh, wait. Computer weirdness. Suddenly two new posts came up.
@Abstract I'm intrigued by the empathy vs. projection thing. I find that very confusing. I do feel other people's feelings, but I also think I project sometimes too. Could they be part of the same thing? As in I feel another's feelings, relate them to my experience, then project back?
People with cancer do not want sympathy... They want encouragement to help them through their pain and the people helping them need to have empathy so not to drag the cancer patient down into misery
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