Employer not following accommodations

[whiteraven]

I know someone who has had panic attacks for 20 years or so. They said their mom, who was their primary abuser, had them too. Most of their PTSD symptoms are in remission but they figure that panic attacks will be there their whole life and they just deal with them when they happen. But it’s pretty serious in that their typical response is to never return to wherever it happened. They are on disability for an unrelated reason so they can mostly do that. They make it sound like panic attacks are a disorder that’s here to stay. I had no idea that a person can beat them. My OCD seems here to stay (albeit reduced intensity) so I figured it was similar. Very interesting to find out that panic attacks are not considered a fixed symptom, but it does make sense because this person got all their PTSD symptoms under control from meditation and mindfulness, not therapy.

This is how I manage mine. Not medicine, since that doesn't work but mindfulness. It is the *only* thing that has helped me.

 

[Rose White]

Good to know @whiteraven ! That seems to their perspective as well.

 

[alwaysworkingthruit]

So for me, one of my focus areas of treatment has been trying to navigate being surprised by unexpected things. The initial accident and all of the injuries accompanied with it and blah blah blah is what really contributed to my PTSD. I don’t handle any kind of surprises or abrupt changes in routine well, as a result of my accident. To be honest, i’m sure I was pretty rigid before the accident, but I think the accident exacerbated this . So back to my original post, I had a panic attack in front of the HR people when they told me I had to attend a huge ceremony with thousands of people two hours before it was set to begin. Even despite seeing my condition, they told me the expectation is that they would see me there. maybe because I’m living it I am more disgusted than anyone who’s reading this, but I am just so irate and over this because this is how they continually treat me. I am working and working and working and getting better and I have very few panic attacks. In fact, this is the only one I ever had at workin the last several years. Why can’t I just abandon these things?

 

[Sideways]

I know someone who has had panic attacks for 20 years or so.

Yep. Panic attacks are complex, for sure. And not everyone in every situation can simply expect to overcome them with treatment. But in this case? That would absolutely be a very realistic short-medium term treatment goal.

Why can’t I just abandon these things?

There’s some complicated things going on for you for sure. Asking yourself to just abandon things sounds a lot like “just get over it”, which isn’t how ptsd works!

It sounds like you’ve got some insight into your personal thinking and coping styles. Rigid thinking can definitely make things hard - but you can also make it work in your favour.

For example, would happen if you were to change your priority from avoiding the risk of panic attacks to - absolutely not tolerating the constant risk of panic attacks anymore? What if you became rigid about that?

Panic attacks and hypervigilance are related, but not the same. Panic attacks are one of the consequences of hyperarousal, which is causing your hypervigilance as well. That’s important. Because getting your hypervigilance under control won’t necessarily stop the panic attacks.

Hypervigilance is much harder to ‘get under control’, and the constant underlying over-arousal? Even more so. So, it’s fantastic that tackling your hypervigilance is one of your current treatment goals, but that’s not necessarily going to solve the panic attack issue for you.

You can prioritise panic attacks specifically. Because they’re something else. And they are the type of thing where, if you decide to go in hard and practice the techniques used to manage them, they just don’t need to be a constant threat hanging over your head anymore.

And here’s the thing that your therapist (and GP) ought to know: every time you decide “I’m not going to do that again because of the risk of having a panic attack”…you become more likely to have a panic attack.

That doesn’t mean it’s time to jump straight back in to all those things head first. It just means - life doesn’t need to be this hard, and you could be expecting a shitload more from your treatment team.

Demand a better outcome for yourself. You’re worth it.

 

[alwaysworkingthruit]

Yep. Panic attacks are complex, for sure. And not everyone in every situation can simply expect to overcome them with treatment. But in this case? That would absolutely be a very realistic short-medium term treatment goal.

There’s some complicated things going on for you for sure. Asking yourself to just abandon things sounds a lot like “just get over it”, which isn’t how ptsd works!

It sounds like you’ve got some insight into your personal thinking and coping styles. Rigid thinking can definitely make things hard - but you can also make it work in your favour.

For example, would happen if you were to change your priority from avoiding the risk of panic attacks to - absolutely not tolerating the constant risk of panic attacks anymore? What if you became rigid about that?

Panic attacks and hypervigilance are related, but not the same. Panic attacks are one of the consequences of hyperarousal, which is causing your hypervigilance as well. That’s important. Because getting your hypervigilance under control won’t necessarily stop the panic attacks.

Hypervigilance is much harder to ‘get under control’, and the constant underlying over-arousal? Even more so. So, it’s fantastic that tackling your hypervigilance is one of your current treatment goals, but that’s not necessarily going to solve the panic attack issue for you.

You can prioritise panic attacks specifically. Because they’re something else. And they are the type of thing where, if you decide to go in hard and practice the techniques used to manage them, they just don’t need to be a constant threat hanging over your head anymore.

And here’s the thing that your therapist (and GP) ought to know: every time you decide “I’m not going to do that again because of the risk of having a panic attack”…you become more likely to have a panic attack.

That doesn’t mean it’s time to jump straight back in to all those things head first. It just means - life doesn’t need to be this hard, and you could be expecting a shitload more from your treatment team.

Demand a better outcome for yourself. You’re worth it.

This is absolutely the best advice I have heard in a long long time! I remember your advice many years ago when the initial accident happened, I appreciate the fact that you have always supported and provided sound guidance along my journey. Thank you!

 

[Sideways]

@alwaysworkingthruit - you’re very welcome!

To read that you’re at the point where you had a panic attack when HR told you to go the graduation is awful. That’s having a panic attack about having to do something that might give you a panic attack.

So, you’re in “having panic attacks about the prospect of having panic attacks” territory. I’ve been there. It’s shit!

And it’s the very predictable outcome of a treatment strategy which is based on avoidance as a management strategy for panic attacks. The thing that shits me most about that is your panic attacks are something you can get under control (which is the opposite of what you currently have).

This current strategy ends up in a steadily widening circle of situations and environments you need to avoid, in order to avoid having a panic attack.

But you can treat that shit! That’s totally something you will be capable of. Maybe not overnight. And it may not be a steady upwards trajectory the whole time (rarely is with ptsd). But damn, it’s hella worth it!

 

[alwaysworkingthruit]

Thank you.
I appreciate your candor and support and words of wisdom