Employment with Fear

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UK has some similar laws (although you might not believe it if you have been following my progress elsewhere!!).

The Disability Discrimination act applies to ALL employers. Employers are required to make "reasonable adjustments" to working conditions to allow disabled people to do their job. Trouble is, there is a lot of argument over what "reasonable" means, so if you have an employer who is not wanting to be inconvenienced by your disability, you have a battle on your hands. Not what you need when coming to terms with ptsd.

There is also the fear of having an employee with mental health issues. Some employers are scared they might be at risk of being sued if there is an incident - regardless of whether or not that employee does anything wrong or not.

I'm going to stop here, before this turns into a rant!!!

I understand your fear. Not long after my diagnosis, I told my boss that I had PTSD. He told me that I just needed to 'get over it' and 'not give in to this' and all that crap. When someone already has a formed opinion, you're just wasting your breath trying to change their minds. Then a few days later I got called into his office and was given a written letter of warning for 'bringing my personal problems into the office' because he found out that I had spoken to a few people I consider friends about things that were going on with me. On the bottom of the warning, he wrote that if it continued, I would be terminated. Oh yeah...what a lovely way to start a Monday morning that was!

Those same people will pop into my office on business and then lower their voices (my bosses office is directly across the hall from me) and ask how I'm doing? So I still have the support, but I feel like we're all in the resistance in some old WWII movie. LOL

But it's scary as hell sometimes at work. My boss only talks to me when he absolutly has to anymore. Before he would laugh and joke and work wasn't so bad. My company is big and has a lot of divisions and I've been going onto the company website to the employment section almost daily looking for another job I can do away from this guy. Like most, I need this job. It pays the bills and I also get my insurance through my job. And I get my meds through the insurance. I've been paying attention and I've noticed that my symptoms are always worse at work because of the stress.

The line where you said you stare and the screen and don't know what to type...yeah I know that one. But like Wildfire said, breath. Taking a few deep belly breathes or as many as you need will help. I have found that breaking my day into ten minute segments helps, too. Sometimes it's one minute to the next. Whatever it takes to get through. When the walls really start closing in on me, I go outside and take a walk around my building.

But don't give up, honey. If there's no one at work that you trust, maybe you can call a friend when things get tight. Sometimes just hearing the voice of someone that cares helps to bring the anxiety down. Or email a friend and vent at lunch. Just don't give up. ((((Hugs))))
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