Emtionally Numb

[Tania822]

I guess I just wanted to hear some reassurance from those out there that emotional numbness goes away. I feel like I can't feel much of anything anymore - not love, really, or sadness, or fear or anything really. I went through very severe postpartum anxiety and depression for which I was hospitalized twice and had 20 rounds of ECT (yes, they still do schock therapy! its scary and kinda awful but also - helps). I even feel like if you touch me, I don't totally feel it - its like a sort of numbing agent on my whole body. Its not pleasant or unpleasant, really, just weird.

I still sort of enjoy reading books (one of my favorite things to do) and eating/ drinking (not alcohol) but I really miss having a full range of feelings and I just want to know that eventually they'll come back. On the other hand this numbness maybe? has allowed me to be functional, to come back to work and to do what I need to do so I can see its a survival mechanism. But in other ways I think it makes me less functional, nevermind that it's just not how I want to live.

 

[Friday]

Are you on meds that may be contributing to (or causing) the problem?

 

[Tania822]

Thanks for your reply! Yes, I am on quite a lot of meds and I do think that it's possible they're contributing. On the other hand, I'm afraid to go off any of them as I do feel that at least I am now stable and functional.

 

[EveHarrington]

Can PTSD related numbness go away?

Yes.

However I have no personal experience with ECT so I'm not sure how that factors into things. I am guessing there are other folks here who have had ECT and can comment on this aspect.

My numbness is a bit pervasive right now, and I believe it is medication related. I'm coming off of it to see what happens. I'm hoping for the best.

 

[Sideways]

I go through periods of feeling completely numb to everything - feelings, physical contact, people talking at me. It's like I'm just a rubber ball that everything keeps bouncing off. Usually, for me, it ends up being a transition phase, often coming out of a very deep depression, although sometimes it just is. And even though I hate it, there are definitely times when I think going back to numb would be preferable.

I've tried a couple of different types of ECT - full course of each. I don't specifically remember being numb, but I was definitely a bit of a space cadet during the treatment. That goes away when your course is over. Although again, sometimes I don't mind retreating back to being a space cadet if it helps me avoid feelings!

 

[Tania822]

I go through periods of feeling completely numb to everything - feelings, physical contact, peopl...

Thanks all, this is helpful. Yeah, I don't think the numbness is related to the ECT - if anything, the ECT seemed to kind of jolt me out of the numbness. I think more likely it is a kind of coping mechanism plus maybe the side effect of medication. I do still have feelings from time to time - yesterday I felt sad and cried, felt physical attraction toward my partner, still look forward to some things. but there's kind of a depth that's lacking. it's so very hard to explain exactly.

Anyway I guess I'm also wondering also if anyone has had any luck treating this with alternative medicine like reiki acupuncture and the like? I'm thinking those things my be helpful for treating the underlying PTSD and, therefore, the numbness.