Erikson's Theories And Us

[WhiteLady]

Hello,

(I do hope that this falls into the correct category in which I submit it)

I have been given many diagnoses over the years due to my physical and psychological ailments. But something that my psychiatric doctors never brought to light was Erikson's Theory of Psychosocial Development. For those of you who have experienced something horrible from a young age, I wonder if you´ve ever heard of this? It states that at each step in a child/teen/adult´s life, he/she must reach certain psychosocial 'milestones' (for example, learning to trust in infancy). If these milestones are not reached, then the child misses that 'ability' (di: if an infant does not develop trusting relations with caregivers, he will likely grow up to be wary and mistrustful).

In myself, I have identified flaws in nearly all of of my 'stages' and I wonder how you feel about this regarding yourself (and/or others). Also, what do you think in terms of learning stages well passed by?

For more in-depth about the stages of psychosocial development according to Erikson: http***://psychology.about.***com/library/bl_psychosocial_summary.htm (without ***)

 

[saffy]

HI Whitelady

I have never studied Erikson but by what you said his theory makes perfect sense.

I think from a young age you learn how to adapt and develop socially and this can be encouraged in a positive or negative way by parents and carers.

For me I learnt at a young age that I should not answer back, only speak when spoken to, that I was always in the wrong and that I was only welcome/liked if invited. I was taught that what I said or did was stupid. I was spoken at not to and was always put down or made to feel guilty.

I was told that my friends only wanted me for money. I was told that nobody would want me when I was a single parent. I was told that I was not important to anyone and that if anyone left it was because of me.

SO from a young age I was afraid to speak to anyone, afraid to tell them no if I did not like or agree with what they said or did and afraid that I was not liked for me.

I still cannot go somewhere without being invited. I still am afraid of confrontation and just do not trust anyone.

I was taught that I should be seen and not heard, so I was never allowed a voice.

I also think that having no protection or support over things made me very defensive and I built a wall up. I was also taught my feelings and emotions were stupid and did not matter and I was only after attention if I showed them. I was never listened to but shouted at.

I cannot converse properly now. I have no idea of boundaries and will only go somewhere if invited properly.

I never trusted the motives of my mother, she was manipulative, I never trusted my step dad, he was a control freak and never trusted my father not to run out on me again.

SO yes I suppose psychosocial development was pretty much thwarted in many ways.

Not sure if that is the answer you wanted.?

best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[DharmaGirl]

I have had trauma from a very young age and I missed the milestones. My therapist says you can heal that within the theraputic relationship. He said it would take me longer to trust people, but that I would be able to. When I first went to therapy, I felt like I was 3 years old. Now I feel more like 13 years old in the therapy room. I am 53. I'm assuming I'm learning those milestones within therapy.