Everything's Falling Apart Again

[Casey_03]

I feel like my whole world is about to come crashing down.

I am being forced out of where I've been living with my baby (my deceased grandma's house). After months of being told by my aunt (the executor of my grandma's will) that I can stay until the house is sold, she is now being awful and basically forcing me out. She's not coming right out and saying that, of course, but she's told the realtor who's showing the house to hold viewings whenever he wants, and that he doesn't have to give me any warning when he's bringing people over. She also refuses to let me talk to him directly about the situation, I suspect because she doesn't want me to tell him he can't be bringing potential buyers over whenever he wants without warning me. When I tried to reason with her and explain that it's really quite cruel to do that to me when I'm still breastfeeding and struggling to work and take care of little man, she just said, "well we have to sell the house, that's more important."

And it couldn't come at a better time, of course. My baby's jerk of a father is also preparing to file for parental rights, and it looks like that's going to happen right at the time I lose my home ...

Worse yet, turns out it's incredibly difficult for me to even find an apartment, or to afford one. Because I was relying on the money I get from the sale of my grandma's house .... but now I have to get out before I receive any of that money.

When it rains it pours. I feel a panic attack coming on.

 

[GrayOwl]

You don't have to move right now, right?
It does sound like you have to prepare for unexpected and unwanted house guests.
It sounds very inconvenient and unpleasant.
Is there an area of the house, like your sleeping room or the little one's room that you can set up for most of your more intimate functions? That room could certainly be off limits or restricted to some degree - post a sign - No entry without permission. ??
It sounds like some sort of compromise might need to happen. This will also expedite your getting your money (and hopefully some financial freedom) from the sale of he house and maybe getting on with life.
Some sacrifice and discomfort in life happens. I wish I could sugar coat that but I cannot. I do, however sympathize with your discomfort and uneasiness. It certainly sounds stressful. But you probably have cheap housing for now, a roof over your head. Maybe the glass is half full rather than half empty?
And the realtors and house guests certainly need to be respectful. Hopefully they will be. I totally hate intrusions in to my space too. Getting your own place somewhere will be really good for you.
How is your little guy doing anyway?

 

[Casey_03]

I have two weeks, I'm told. I tried to compromise -- I asked them to do viewings only on certain days, between certain hours. They refused. They said it will be seven days a week, from 8 am to 8 pm. I asked to keep one room private for me and not allow potential buyers in -- they refused. I was told the realtor will be very aggressive about bringing over potential buyers, and that he may give me less than 20 minutes warning.

If it were just about comfort, or tolerating some discomfort, I'd stay and put up with it. But I'd be risking losing my job, because I work from home, so an abrupt visit that requires me to leave means I'd have to stop working in the middle of my shift. And I'm already on thin ice at my job. (I work from home).

I think they are intentionally refusing to be respectful because they want me to just leave to make things easier.

 

[GrayOwl]

Ouch!
That does sound serious and stressful.
It sounds like they have become very aggressive about getting the house "SOLD".
Whew. I don't know what to say. That's a lot to put on your plate. I was essentially homeless last year..... cheap motels, my car, a campground. But I didn't have a little one or internet/job needs so I was able to survive it.
I think you are entitled to have one room for privacy during feeding or nap times, at least a few hours here and there. I don't know what else to suggest about living quarters. I hope you can find some assistance, public aid, or something to make sure you stay safe and warm. Please keep posting so we know what's up. I wish I could help somehow.
I found a cheap safe place. It took a long time and it was a tough process for me to navigate through. Things will work out. The father is providing some support too I hope. That's part of being a father and part of parental rights.
I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[joeylittle]

@Casey_03 - my best advice for you is: stay put. When realtor comes over to show house, shut your door. Make a few signs: -

• Mother nursing, do not knock or enter.
• Working; please knock
• Baby sleeping. Do not knock. Text (your number)

Or, maybe those give you ideas of your own.

If you want to be nice, take some photos of the room and email them to the realtor so he has something to show if he happens to show up on a day when you can't let buyers into your room.

He can show the house around you. Everyone can just tolerate the situation. You have as much interest in getting the house sold as anyone does. Make sure they know that.

And then, if the realtor wants to work with you on a viewing schedule, they can decide to do that.

I imagine your family will give you shit for it. But the facts are:

• You can't afford to move
• People show occupied properties all the time.

There won't be hundreds of people clamoring to see the house at any hour between 8 and 8.

You can plant your feet. There's nothing really to discuss. And although there could be stress...you can hopefully relieve the rising panic.