Existential Freak Outs

[Justmehere]

Does anyone else have them?

My old trauma therpaist thought it was a dissociative phenomenon. I get really freaked out about the meaning of life and feeling like my soul is in danger of non-existence. It happens in the middle of the night usually, or in the very early morning.

It usually happens soon after processing childhood neglect.

 

[Teasel]

Absolutely relate to this. Can't say I've ever thought of them as existential crises though I suspect that's got a lot to do with the fact they started when I was much younger than the age at which anyone thinks about existentialism. And I'm not religious either so probably woudn't use the word soul, but totally understand what you mean.

I suppose thinking about it, someone raised in a good enough loving enough family, has a fairly strong sense of who they are and that there is a group of people there for them and that helps them know where they fit into the world.

What you wrote makes me think of the sudden panics I sometimes have, a deep yearning to feel secure and know how the world works = a set of beliefs that help me plan my way in the world..

Interesting that your T thought it a dissociative phenomenom. I would think it the opposite, a sudden awareness of hoe ill prepared/supported you felt as a child. What do you think it is?
All the best to you anyhow x

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I have those feelings of meaningless.

Anymore I wonder if half of it is just a product of the society we live in. I don't live up to societies standards of having a meaningful life so it therefore becomes a crisis to me.

 

[falling_wave]

I get that but its usually associated with a deep depression for me. I used to have so much shame over being a bad person from some spiritual abuse that happened growing up and I had serious existential crisis and pretty much felt doomed to be living to one day go to hell. Life already felt like hell so living or dying I as already there. That was almost unbearable. Now Ive processed through much of that so its just now and then I question after life and my meaning on earth etc. I think its healthy to a degree to have questions or worry as we get older but obviously not at a young age. Mine started around 9 years old at the worst of it.

 

[Jobriel]

Yes, yes, yes! I am constantly in existential crisis. I wonder if I really exist, or if I deserve to exist, or why I exist, or what I should be doing that I am not doing, or what reality is...ect. I have DID and have lately been wondering if, when I die, my alters will still be with me and separate, or if we will suddenly integrate which would make me a different person than I am right now. Are we here to earth to learn specific lessons, or is all of the painful stuff just random? The most constant struggle for me is the feeling that I don't know who I am.

 

[katybug]

I have them a lot, but only when I'm dissociating. I think it's a pretty common symptom of depersonalization.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Yes, I've had these from a young age and still do, I am 31