Existing in the unknown

[Punky143]

I don't know even how to explain how I feel. Before session yesterday I was I guess "lost" then after my first emdr, I left feeling nothing like the variety of dissociation I've been used to. Since then, I'm lost in a world unlike no other and unable to explain to anyone and it sucks and it's lonely and probably the worst I've felt in a long long time. Only this time, I'm in the body of a 37 yr old so all the compassion etc is gone but that's fine, I don't need people. I'm just so lost

 

[EveHarrington]

:hug:

 

[Insight]

You are not alone in this,

I am not sure what your story is, but please know that you are having a normal reaction to an abnormal event/events.

Do you feel "lost" because people have a failure of understanding, or "lost" as far as social status?

 

[ladee]

We all need understanding, and without knowing your exact situation, I do understand the feeling of being lost on this journey. But it will get better. I know that is a catch phrase, but we have no reason to lie to you ....
Grateful that you reached out... and hope things settle down some for you in the days ahead, you are not alone.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Welcome, Punky!
I am sorry that you are feeling so "lost"!

I DO want to welcome you to this very special place where MOST of us have felt lost at one time or another. Some have felt "lost" for most of their lives!

Here, you will find compassionate, empathetic, and understanding people who have suffered varying degrees of pain and emptiness! Pain is pain, and we don't compare.

EMDR helped me tremendously, get through, and past some VERY DIFFICULT TIMES, and when I discovered it, I was "done" with the traditional "talk" therapies, and by a "fluke" found my current T.

The best advice I can give...is DON"T GIVE UP!!!

Blessings of Peace being sent your way! I hope you'll be back!

AKJ

 

[trying2movefwd]

I was just sharing this exact same situation with someone. How at my last EMDR session I left worse off than before I went into the session. I also am highly stressed with a situation where I have to face a person who hurt me tomorrow, and had an anniversary causing triggers on Sunday, so I can't really attribute my severe disassociation to one thing for this week. I HOPE EMDR is better at my next session...I hope I get to the place of being"grounded". Until then like it or not I guess I am "floating" in this invisible, and lifeless space.

 

[Punky143]

I'm lost in the sense of I don't get why people need relationships because all they end up being is temporary. My brain is trying to navigate through the present world by breaking down what to others are normal learned concepts such as the need to be around people, what happened to me that made me to think and feel so messed up today. Why do I at my age regularly want my mom. Why do I just want to be alone because all people annoy me. Why does my mind dissociate in many ways. I hate this. I hate everything. I hate most of all that I don't have anyone to tell this to because no one would understand. Every day something else falls through such as my husband's car died on the highway. Yesterday I forgot to take the keys out of my car and the battery died. I'm mad at no one but myself. I'm sad that I am different from everyone and don't tell me otherwise. I want to give up. Every minute of the day, I want to give up but I somehow keep breathing

 

[ladee]

@Punky143 , there is a phrase I learned in 12 step rooms, "living life on life's terms'. It took me a long time to understand this. Because for so many years everything that happened to me or around me was catastrophic.When I was finally diagnosed with PTSD and was put on my first pill combo for depression and anxiety, I went out one day and had a flat tire.. It was just a flat tire ! Not the end of the world.. something that happens to others on a daily basis and I remember thinking.. "This is what life on life's terms means'.... it's just a flat tire. Get it fixed and go on about my day...
I am sorry things feel so overwhelming to you. I have been there many many times... it's hard to look for the light at the end of the tunnel when everything around us is so dark and scary... And I am grateful that everyday you keep breathing....
There is hope, you are here, sharing, and no, we don't get to have coffee with you and listen to you, but we hear you nonetheless. You are not alone. These are my experiences and I do offer hope for you. Am sending gentle hugs of understanding to you today.

 

[Punky143]

Thank you

 

[GrayOwl]

Virtual Hug.:hug:
Take one moment at a time.
Perhaps find a "positive"..... coffee, a book, a warm chair in a sunny room, (ice cream), a walk, a puppy, good music.... whatever.
Absorb it for a while.
Take on the next moment when it gets here. Until then, don't worry about it.
When the time is right the next moment will come along. It just will.
Deep breath. Enjoy. Deep breath. Enjoy. Repeat as needed......
Thank you for being here.

 

[EveHarrington]

------but nothing in this world is ever permanent.