Relationship Expectations are too high convo

[master z]

I often get this text "I just can’t be the friend you need and deserve me to be".

How can I respond like a good partner to this text? I am guessing it means your expectations are way too high.

Idk how I can do fun things are set boundaries when I get this response.

 

[OrangeJulius]

That's vague. I would ask for more information. Can s/he give you an example of a time s/he was a bad friend? If I got this text I would say just that.

"This is vague. Can you give me an example of a time this has happened? In general, I disagree with this statement. Also, its not for you to decide what I deserve. That is mine to decide. I deserve the best and that's what I've got."

 

[shimmerz]

I just can’t be the friend you need and deserve me to be

My supporters used to say - fairly consistently - 'How about you leave that for ME to decide'. Stopped that line of thinking for me dead in my tracks. I think this was generally a whole lot of anxiety bleeding through when I used to say it.

 

[EveHarrington]

Translation.

Any expectations are too many expectations.

Hint. Even the most basic of relationships/friendships have expectations, there’s no way around it.

She’s highly symptomatic, drowning, and can’t keep her head above water. Not enough energy for herself means zero energy for you.

 

[master z]

Not. Good news because she is in a depressive state but positive news she told me space and a time line

She told me she is in a depressive state and wants to alienate needs space. I asked how long she said didn't know but she said she is good of small increments of a week.

FYI I didn't ask how long she needed to be a bad person. I asked so I can control what I can control in terms of how I respond to giving her space