Explaining Ptsd To A New Gf /bf: Film Portrayals Of Ptsd

[shimmerz]

My one concern is that these sorts of portrayals can be quite scary to someone on the outside. Well, not so much in the sense of seeing it on the screen, but if you show someone a popular culture portrayal of PTSD and then say 'hey, guess what? That's me!' then that in and of itself may be too much for them to handle.

Agree with this big time.

yeah, I think I'd run away from me.

I so get this. I feel this all the time. It is a dangerous slope and am really trying to change this perception of myself. Otherwise I am walking into a relationship eternally grateful that anyone could possibly love me. All bad.

I've a strong suspicion that it was the drugs he was stuffed full of, to save other people from being embarrassed by the things he shouted, that killed him.

I wish I could gasp at this statement. Shock and surprise would be ideal. The poor, sweet soul. 17.....how incredibly sad.

I often grappled with `how soon to tell` and found that I was best to let people know first off. I mean really I couldn`t hide it because back then I triggered over everything and my reactions were nuts. Now I think I could get away with non disclosure for a bit. Good luck to you! Great way to move forward!

 

[Anarchy]

Frankly, the best media I've found for myself is All Quiet on the Western Front, which is about WWI and was first published in 1928 by the German veteran Erich Maria Remarque. Back then, of course, it was "shell shock" and very badly understood. Remarque does an extraordinary job of weaving PTSD into the very tone of the novel, which is particularly remarkable because of how poorly understood PTSD was.

I bought a copy yesterday and I'm about a third of the way through. What I've read so far really does capture the experience, and the dislocation from everything that came before and from any plans for a future. I've been having a good cry as I've been reading it too.

Many thanks for the heads up.

 

[Deleted member 29889]

First off I LOVE THAT MOVIE(s)!! and think that is a great idea! I may have to have my boyfriend watc...

I, personally, wouldn't stay in a relationship in which someone screamed at me. Why should your boyfriend?

 

[Sideways]

Um, yeah, I haven't read All Quiet On The Western Front since high school, and at the end of it, all I could really tell you was that the book made me bawl. Like torrential tears. Bit of a downer in a new relationship: "Yeah, so ptsd is like...nah, instead just read this tragically sad book with a few boxes of Kleenex handy...still good for dinner on Friday!?" Hmmm...

I think the "I have ptsd" statement doesn't initially need to be accompanied by the complete A to Z. There's stuff you may want them to know early which may not be a big deal ("Nah, I'll have to pass on the theatre tix, I've got ptsd and crowds trigger me"). No biggie, just earmark it for further convo as the relationship progresses.

That way they get your version of how ptsd effects you. And for further info, at some point maybe recommend some websites where they can dig further if it's appropriate...

Me personally, I'd save the movies for further down the track when you can sit together and laugh about how "It's sooo not like that!" :)

 

[Anarchy]

nah, instead just read this tragically sad book with a few boxes of Kleenex handy...still good for dinner on Friday!?" Hmmm...

Hi Ragdoll,
you're touching on the whole minefield / can of worms area that could seriously wreck and trash a new relationship for anyone with PTSD.

That's the whole incredibly complex etiquette and social conventions around who provides the kleenex:cautious::bookworm::cry::blackeye:

 

[Sideways]

Sorry:bag: I have no idea what that meant, bit I think I made an oopsy...

Just didn't think one of the saddest books I've ever read would be a great way to explain ptsd:sick:

 

[Anarchy]

It was a joke - along the same lines as taking your own box of kleenex along to sessions, is a way to gain favour with a therapist.

sending you :hug:
@

 

[Thematrix]

@Anarchy, I don't have any good suggestions about films but wanted to say way to go building up the courage and thinking about doing this. I am not there yet.

 

[Anarchy]

I am not there yet.

I started the thread a year ago
I still haven't made any moves:bag:

 

[Sideways]

:confused:@Anarchy - you got me:facepalm:

I'm just not sure about the movie angle, y'know!? I mean, I really like Don't Say A Word, because the chick is constantly doing this weird thing with her right hand when she dissociates, and I do something really similar with my right hand, but putting the movie on & telling a potential partner "This! This is what I'm like!"...er, maybe not:confused:

 

[Justmehere]

Also to make sure that she knows how to protect herself from the dangers of falling into co-dependency and that she must never try to be a "therapist" or rescuer...

yeah, I think I'd run away from me.

The best movie that I like for this is actually not a movie that is about PTSD, but it's called "Lars and The Real Girl." The movie demonstrates people who are just there, really there, and non-judgementally accept a person as they go through their own process and work to heal. The movie is packed full of really amazing metaphors too that I think could apply to PTSD and other conditions.

My favorite scene is when the guy is mourning his doll's death, and instead of people freaking out, they come and sit with him. Ladies from the local church come and they sit with him. They don't try to fix him, change him, or make everything ok. They do bring casseroles, but they don't push or invade. They present. That's "all" they offer him, and it is more healing than any other thing. As the movie goes on, Lars goes from wearing lots of clothes to very few layers of clothes, and the scene with the ladies is one of the key moments where he has one less layer there. The "girl" in the movie is initially a fake sex doll (which the movie doesn't have really anything to do with sex) and in the end, it is a real girl who was there all along. He goes through a real process to heal and eventually connect on deeper levels.

The therapist in the movie is also seriously amazing.

The typical description of the movie might put some people off, along with Lar's condition, but t's a movie that is worth the adventure to watch it.

 

[EveHarrington]

The Lars movie was good. I very much enjoyed watching it.

Maybe I don't really watch PTSD movies though?