Exposure Therapy And Flashbacks

[Michel]

I'm going to be talking to my therapist about this today, but I wonder whether anyone else has found themselves in my position and has thoughts about what I do now. I have been doing exposure therapy for some time for denial and dissociated emotions. I've now got beyond the denial and am having strong body memory flashbacks of chronic coercive sex in my marriage. Now I remember what it felt like, and I suppose this is good. But I keep having these strong and long-lasting bodily "flashbacks" of the feelings of having sex I did not want to have.

I guess what's different about these flashbacks is that they have been intentionally caused as part of my therapy. But what now? Do I just sit with and learn from them? Or do I start trying to ground myself in the present when they occur? Try to desensitize myself to the triggers that lead to them (so far: situations in which I feel I am helpless while being wronged, and the TV show "Deadwood" in which a woman is a sexual slave) or try to avoid those triggers?

 

[dharmaBum]

I tend to stay with the flashbacks in duration and frequency until they become disruptive, and then I work on grounding as needed. Things like that seem to go in a wave for me. I also do a fair amount of trauma writing.

For example, after an EMDR session on Monday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday were FULL of uncomfortable intrusive memories w/adrenaline response. By Wednesday, I had many things to do in life and couldn't let it all "wash" over me any more. I started doing more grounding & mindfullness meditation to give myself a break from the thoughts & biochemical reactions. Thursday was still terrible, so on Friday I increased my daily betablocker a few grams (well within- actually under- my M.D. prescribed dose). Friday was much better- more present-minded. Today is Saturday, and I have far-less trouble concentrating and drifting off into intrusive memory analysis. I expect tomorrow to be better as well. On Friday I took a soak in the hot-tub and a turn in the sauna. My goal was to relax my body and reduce the adrenaline stimulation. On Friday night I watched a film! Just for fun :) I have a strict policy on film content (Deadwood is not something I could watch without increasing the adrenaline/anxiety reaction), because I have enough stress from PTSD trauma brain stuff. I don't need anymore stressful stimulus :)