I have nothing wise to say, am struggling today and feel mute. But yes, I struggle with the same fears, but I don't let my self get in touch with them much. (Hard to explain, but I guess I suppress them. ) My therapist has tried to make me talk about it, but he can't make me. I just shut him out when he tries to. (And I have never had any relationship in my life closer than the one I have with my therapist, except my abusers of course, and then I too have tried a lot of different therapists..) I'm sorry you are struggling. (My therapist has been on a vacation for 3 weeks now, and will be gone another 4.. :( ) :hug: