Exposure Therapy Ineffective For Complex Situations And Very Old Fears?

[freakofnurture]

I understand that feeling and sometimes, for me, positive can feel like they want or will expect me to be a certain way.

Yes! I always fear that they'll expect me to let them close, always, and then when I can't do that they take it personally and start to hate me.

 

[ericaboo]

This leads right into the concept of assertive communication. (something I don't really know how to do)

Learning how to say "No, nope, no thanks, today's not a good day, etc" confidently in a way that tends to feel OK to myself and the other person without feeling like saying No automatically means displeasing others and being rejected (or worse) for it.

If I could do that, I would feel a lot safer about letting people in.

 

[freakofnurture]

If I could do that, I would feel a lot safer about letting people in.

Same here.

 

[ericaboo]

Let's find our way there :) I'm off to the therapist's office right now :roflmao:

 

[Sterre]

This leads right into the concept of assertive communication. (something I don't really know how to do)

Learning how to say "No, nope, no thanks, today's not a good day, etc" confidently in a way that tends to feel OK to myself and the other person without feeling like saying No automatically means displeasing others and being rejected (or worse) for it.

If I could do that, I would feel a lot safer about letting people in.

Yes, yes, yes!

This is what I have been wondering about for ages now! I think it would be easier for me if I could communicate more assertive, and therefor protect myself in a work enviroment. But I just dont know, havent got a clue on how to do the assertive communication thing, without falling into a guilt trap or feeling ashamed.

It is as if those things are intwined with each other, and they are holding me hostage. I experiment with being assertive, but then immediatly fall prey of overwhelming shame or guilt, that I have to fight then.
So, even if I do the assertive communication thing, it is only part of the problem, because the aftermath is confusing and makes me feel very vulnerable.

 

[jenny72]

I have many unreasonable fears wich I have learned to 'deal' with because it is necessary for me to in order to function in my daily life. I can drive over a tall bridge without having a panic attack now. I am still very fearful,but, I only look forward at the road and concentrate. If I am a passenger in car I learned that playing a little game on my phone so I don't watch the road helps. Some things that I fear, I have no solution for and pray they don't happen,such as someone being angry with me and yelling at me. I find myself usually just avoiding people or things. I don't know if this helps. I am recently diagnosed and that has been the way I have delt with life on my own. I sure hope there is a better way!