Exposure Therapy - Thinking Happy Thoughts

[BlankCanvas]

In my last session with my psychologist I learned the happiest thing. Might be the best piece of news since I started seeing her.

I am assuming that I have 'Complex PTSD'. I have a list of all the major traumas in my life and am supposed to be working them all out with my psychologist through exposure therapy and CBT. We decided to tackle the biggest/worst event first. This got pretty overwhelming and I needed to take a break for a bit. I think I probably needed a better understanding about what I was signing up for and a few coping skills that could help me along the way.

I have been gearing up to start the exposure therapy again and started feeling anxious about the whole thing, given that I have a whole list of traumas to 'deal with'. I figured I was starting a 10 year sentence of exposures. Then I heard the greatest news ever!

According to my T, if people deal with the 'biggest and baddest' first, quite often their other traumas sort themselves out. So those of you with trauma lists that seem to go on for miles, you're in luck! I'm hoping that she's right on this!

 

[2quilt]

It does seem to get a tiny bit easier to deal with the others if you do exposure therapy with one of your real bad traumas.
The first time you do exposure therapy it's scarey and very difficult; I wiped the next two days off the calendar when I did it.

 

[cragger65]

What exactly is entailed in your exposure therapy. I have heard of it, but don't know what you're supposed to actually "do".

thanks in advance,
Dave

 

[BlankCanvas]

Hi Dave,

I'm pretty sure there are different approaches to Exposure Therapy. For myself, I choose a specific trauma (e.g. sexual assault). I think back to that event and close my eyes, speaking in the present tense I walk through the trauma with my psychologist. She guides me through these exposures and asks me questions along the way, (e.g. what smells do you notice, what are you feeling). She monitors my SUDS level throughout. I think the purpose of the exposure is to talk me through the trauma with a heightened SUDS level, but doing it in such a way that the anxiety/emotions aren't unbearable. I do these exposures at home by myself as well. Depending on how 'stable' I've been, I do it less/more.

 

[cragger65]

Hm, OK. Thanks BlankCanvas. I think we've done this, the T and I, but she never guided me. Actually, now that I think of it, I've initiated this approach at times and they've had to talk me down and out of it. I think I was trying to force it before I was ready and strong enough to deal with it. I'm going to bring this up with my T again, see if it's something we can try again. The other approach I've tried is TIR where you tell the incident over and over again, but I have zero connection with my emotions during this excercise. Frustrating.

 

[BlankCanvas]

The other approach I've tried is TIR where you tell the incident over and over again, but I have zero connection with my emotions during this excercise. Frustrating.

I think this is along the lines of what I've done. I've talked through the incident more than once in a session. But it's always in the present tense, "I am walking down the hallway now", stuff like that. My T will guide me through it, she will say stuff like "Slow down" and make me sit in a particular moment and describe it in more detail. She tries to monitor my SUDS level. Now sometimes I have gone through this and felt absolutely nothing, only to feel really anxious later that day or the next. Sometimes I've felt moderate anxiety while doing it. Other times I've broken down and cried for a few minutes, only to be 'numb' again. It's such a bizarre process.

 

[fin]

I dont know if this is appropriate, I have been doing this and getting in touch with this myself here on the forum. I can now take myself into the actual traumas-kind of and I am in it again. It is kind of knowing where to put it all as I keep trying to write while I am going into it.

I know I need to keep this stuff, as it will help me, it is just knowing where to put it so I can work though it. I dont think I even need anyone to read it, I just know I have to keep it at the moment to work on me. and Because if I save it to my laptop I wont touch it again, I feel like it needs to go here-somewhere. But I just dont know what to do...any ideas on this please gratefully accepted. I dont want to put it in my diary because I dont think that this stuff is needed to be read by anyone else but me at the moment. It is some of my thought processes and it is messy and all over the place and not even all or continuous thoughts so...I just know i have to try at this and I dont know how.

So please any help..please? where to go? maybe private...? just not sure of anything at the moment. And I am not attention seeking please know that. I am getting more worried about writing my thoughts down is all and I need to do it somewhere that I wont trouble anyone else at the moment...because they are just some random thoughts although...they may get heavier I dont know.

p[lease HELP

 

[cragger65]

Thanks BC, that makes me feel better about my own experience with it, as I am all over the place with it as well. I find the next day fall-out is most common with me.

Fin, there is also a private diary section on the site. No one can see what you write but Anthony, if you feel comfortable with that. Hope this helps.

 

[BlankCanvas]

So please any help..please? where to go? maybe private...? just not sure of anything at the moment. And I am not attention seeking please know that. I am getting more worried about writing my thoughts down is all and I need to do it somewhere that I wont trouble anyone else at the moment...because they are just some random thoughts although...they may get heavier I dont know.

p[lease HELP

Hey Fin,

I would have to agree with Cragger, you might want to try the Private Diary section? I have not used it myself, but it sounds like it might be the space you are looking for. Hope you're taking care of yourself, sorry to hear you distressed like this. Big hugs!

 

[fin]

Thankyou BlankCanvas, I appreciate your kindness and advice to me.

I have found somewhere now I hope, and both Dave and you were right in what you said on this.

I am sending you hugs also. It is a bizarre process BC you are so very right. I am reading you here and learning-I hope, from what you have said to me and others. Thankyou for all that you are sharing.

~fin

am still finding it difficult to focus some, but I believe it will come, it is good that you have written this in the success thread here, it is a good place to come to.

 

[TLight]

OH BC!

Thank you thank you for the encouraging words..........I too have so many traumas, one right after the other...........you've given me hope. Thank you!