Exposure Therapy

[anthony]

That is pretty much it... lying tends to go straight to the core of most people, and the closer a person is too you, the more it hurts. If some random stranger lies to us, we don't care. As the circle decreases to us, being in the middle, the more the hurt when someone betrays us. Those closest, spouse, children, family, friends (no particular order)... do the most damage collectively.

I don't think anyone really has the overall solution to solve how anyone could feel when someone close to us lies directly too us... but more simply we must process it, then make our decisions appropriately. I don't think its something any of us could become desensitized to, because its unique as the circle closes upon us.

 

[Cthulhu]

Actually, every single person has done so just living life. Its like watching a child go play for the first time, going to school for the first day, etc etc. We all fear doing things for the first time, some more than others, yet life itself is a constant exposure therapy exercise. Just changing jobs, it invokes fear within us of starting a new job, meeting new people, etc. Getting sacked, same deal. So many unknowns suddenly popup and create fear based symptoms and responses.

Well, it was more like e.g. meeting and talking to men of a specific ethnic origin (I got raped by a group of them as an adolescent) again and again until it didn't hurt anymore on the inside or exposing myself to social situations in which I usually get mobbed after a while- not to show to myself that it doesn't happen again (it does because of the way I am) but just to experience it again, get used to it, learn to live with it and maybe at some point find a way of how to react so that it never happens again.
But surely, everybody does it from time to time, naturally. Most of my fears just weren't that natural, I think.

 

[The Albatross]

Cthulhu, I had to turn a corner on that (meeting and talking to men of a specific ethnic origin) for myself too. I got through it and have no problem today. My assault was at 27 and I had desensitized by the time I was 33 or 4 completely with no stress or anxiety reactions menta/emotionally or physically. Thank you for sharing that. It helped me to remember that I suceed with something more than I was previously acknowledging.

 

[Heather]

My therapist wants to me to start exposure therapy. A few weeks ago my friend drove past the place where I had an abortion several years ago.... Later that day I had a very bad reaction to the whole incident.

He wants me to start by driving past the clinic. Then a week later go back and walk within a block of it etc. etc. Just the thought of doing this makes me ill and sends me into a panic. Are you supposed to do exposure therapy by yourself? He seems to think I can handle it, I am not so sure.

Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Adrienne12]

I don't know about doing it alone. I decided a few months back I was going to the alley where I was attacked. I thought if I saw it during the day (kids riding bikes etc.) then that is how I would see it for forever. No more nightmares or flashbacks. I went alone. Mistake. As soon as I got off the exit, I flipped out. I had to pull over. I even prepared myself before I went. I stuck pictures of my nieces on the ceiling and steering wheel of my car. I was all ready to go. I thought I was Wonder Woman. And then I fell the F-ck apart. Needless to say, I never made it to there. I think I might have if someone else was driving and talking me down.

Then again...there are those surprise lessons in exposure therapy that you get that are unplanned. Just random stuff that happens everyday that triggers you. You are probably alone for most of them. I know I am. But I do think the big ones should be done with a safe person. This would all be totally up to you at this point. If you feel strong enough that day to do it. I am only speaking for myself here but I have good weeks and bad. The bad weeks are not your typical bad. They are brutal. If I decide to try anything, it is usually on a good week where I feel confident.

 

[Heather]

I'm with you Adrienne I DON'T think doing it alone is such a hot idea either.

 

[Reclusive]

You know, I think taking a friend would be a great way to approach this exposure - someone you can really trust, though. I'm doing the exposure therapy thing with my agoraphobia and I'm kind of stuck at crossing the street at this one part. I might need company to get past there. Just the idea keeps me inside and not keeping up what I've already accomplished. I don't know who I'm gonna find. Times like these I miss my dad's dog. LOL