Most recently I had them about 8 times a day for a week and a half. I was sleeping so much I was worried, everyone thinks I'm depressed, but I'm genuinely not. My anxiety is too much, I'm not down, but anything other than nothing - literally - I can't watch my favourite TV show in bed with out 3-5 minute breaks, it's too much.
Having headaches is just as you said, a physical reminder, for him and you, it's taken me a while to realise that and he might believe they are just headaches. When I've tried lots of painkillers and working through this I've got chilled and cold sweats, a fever, been violently sick, in extreme pain somewhere, dizzy, partially blind, partially deaf, collapsed/fainted and suddenly come down with cold - as a child I was despite very real symptoms I was assured I was trying to get off of school, but when my head cannot cope any more it won't stop sending me very clear signals until I have to stop.
As relation to not working, I'm only 23, but I've never been able to hold down a job more than two months. When I'm not working, I wonder how I managed to get work and home stuff done, most recently, looking after my little sister (4) for a few hours a week and just getting up each day seems to keep me busy enough to be exhausted come the evening, I can't seem to do anything, it's not intentional, I just am exhausted permanently by my brain. Doing nothing is exhausting so I try to do things, but they are exhausting to the point of significant distress and in the long run are simply too much.