@Sweetpea76 Thanks!
@Anarchy I totally agree with you. I believe no contact has allowed me to view the whole situation out of the fog, so to speak. I have no intention of ever talking to her again, but all the while I'm also still preparing the chance she might try to contact me again (when her impulsive marriage inevitably fails). I know through it all I remained as humble and respectful as I could given everything that was thrown at me. BPD sufferers mirror those who they idealize as their partners. I realized the good I saw in her was actually a reflection of myself until she started devaluing me. Because of this I know I deserve better than her. I've gone from being a caring person with no boundaries to a caring person with boundaries and zero tolerance for disrespect. This can only help me in future relationships. With her getting married, I honestly feel like I won. I got myself back and I'm happy. My ex may be happy now (or maybe not, I don't really care), but her illnesses won't allow her to stay that way. When the new guy gets to close to her, she's going to push him away, too. I'm rather excited to be in a position, again, to find a more healthy woman to be with whose love isn't solely based on individual need.
@Ice_Fire Thanks for the kind words,
@Ice_Fire . Truer words were never spoken. I had to overcome pitying my ex and feeling the obligation that I needed to do something about it. Now I can feel sorry for someone without feeling the need to try and save them. This is a trap the guy she's marrying is falling into and will only act to further enable her dysfunction. I feel so blessed I didn't end up getting her pregnant, it would've be such a pain to have to deal with her for the rest of my life. I'm very fortunate in that respect.
As for the relationship with her foster brother, I decided I wouldn't let her destroy the good relationships I had with other people I knew before I met her just because things didn't work out between us. Her foster brother has apologized plenty of times as he was the one that told her about me and invited her to my home when me and my brother took him in (when he was going through a bad divorce). He often says she's crazy and everyone in the foster family knows something isn't quite right with her, but our situation has convinced them she's quite out of control and only getting worse as the years go by). He's also relieved she isn't around him anymore because anytime she contacts him, she's always negative and unhappy about something, which has forced him to not want to have much to do with her. The younger foster sister is the closest to my ex and has told me I'm the sweetest person she knows and that I need a mentally healthy woman in my life to be happy. She thinks my ex doesn't get what it takes to be happy.
I don't think I'll inquire about her because it's to the point I don't care about what she's doing anymore. I'm sorry I met her as well because I was the perfect prey for her and she almost completely sucked the life out of me. At least I can come out of all of this with some valuable lessons learned. I will never go back to her; however, I have made peace with one condition: If she ever contacted me asking me to get her the help she needs, I would do so without hesitation. The probability of that happening is relatively low, though, but it has allowed me to ultimately make peace of all of this.
